Music soothed her mind; painting offered an interest, part sensuous,
part intellectual. Perhaps she loved music best at first, since it
brought a direct anodyne. In the sound of music she could bear to
think of her brief love story. She even made her father come and listen
presently to things that she began to value.
Their minds inevitably proceeded by different channels of thought, and
while she strove resolutely to occupy herself with the new interests,
and put away the agony of the past, till thinking was bearable again
and a road to peace under her feet once more, Sir Walter seldom found
himself passing many hours without recurrence of painful memories and
a sustained longing to strip the darkness which buried them. To his
forthright and simple intelligence, mystery was hateful, and the
reflection that his home must for ever hold a profound and appalling
mystery often thrust itself upon his thoughts, and even inclined him, in
some moods, to see Chadlands no more. Yet a natural longing to return
to the old environment, in which he could move with ease and comfort,
gradually mastered him, and as the spring advanced he often sighed
for Devonshire, yet wondered how he could do so. Then would return the
gloomy history of the winter rolling over his spirit like a cloud, and
the thought of going home again grew distasteful.
Mary, however, knew her father well enough, and at this lustrous hour,
while Florence stretched beneath them in its quiet, evening beauty, she
declared that they must not much longer delay their return.
"Plenty of time," he said. "I am not too old to learn, I find, and a man
would indeed be a great fool if he could not learn in such a place
as this. But though art can never mean much to me now, your case is
different, and I am thankful to know that these things will be a great
addition and interest to your future life. I'm a Philistine, and shall
always so remain, but I'm a repentant one. I see my mistake too late."
"It's a new world, father," she said, "and it has done a great deal
for an unhappy woman--not only in taking my thoughts off myself, but in
lessening my suffering, too. I do not know why, or how, but music, and
these great, solemn pictures painted by dead men, all touch my thoughts
of dear Tom. I seem to see that there are so many more mighty ones dead
than living. And yet not dead. They live in what they have made. And Tom
lives in what he made--that was my love for him and his for me. He grows
nearer and dearer than ever when I hear beautiful music. I can better
bear to think of him at such times, and it will always help me to
remember him."
"God bless art if it does so much," he said. "We come to it as little
children, and I shall always be a child and never understand, but for
you the valuable message will be received. May life never turn you away
from these things in years to come."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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