England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"My dear mother," he said, "you give me credit for far more virtues than
I possess. But perhaps Miss Fitzmaurice knows already that all your
home-farm poultry turn to swans, whatever they were to start with. I am
afraid philanthropic schemes and I haven't had much to say to each other
of late. And after all," here he spoke more slowly, and I knew that his
words were tacitly addressed to me, "I doubt if my greatest sympathy is
with the poor. It sounds hard-hearted perhaps, but there are, there
must be, miseries which they could not feel in the same way as those of
our own classes do," and again it seemed to me that I caught an almost
inaudible sigh. And by one of those "brain-waves," as I believe it is
now the fashion to call them, from that moment I felt convinced that he
had been down at the Grim House again, and that troubles were thickening
there.
There came another murmur of maternal admiration from Mrs Payne, but
her son's last words had saddened me, and a moment or two later I owned
to being tired and sleepy, and we bade each other good-night.
My first waking thoughts the next morning were that something strange
and unexpected had happened. For a moment or two the unfamiliar room,
with its handsome but heavy furniture, very different from the light
chintz-hung quarters, with their pretty little adornments, which my
godmother had prepared for me, added to my confusion of mind. Then, bit
by bit, the events of the day before unrolled themselves in my memory.
"What can be the matter," I thought, "with the Greys? For I am
perfectly certain that something new or worse _is_ the matter. And how
can I find out? And what could I do to help them if I knew? Would it,
could it ever be right and honourable to tell what I heard--that name?"
My heart beat faster at the very idea. I felt as if I _must_ confide my
perplexities to some one; yet to do so to Clarence Payne would, I knew,
be manifestly unfair, unless I could tell him the whole. Still, might
there not be a sort of compromise? Under the circumstances, the very
strange circumstances, of our both knowing what we did, though he little
suspected the _possibly_ vital information I possessed--under the
circumstances, surely there would be no breach of etiquette or even of
good taste in my asking him if he had been there, and if my intuitions
as to some new cause of distress were correct? For before I could even
battle out the question with myself thoroughly as to whether anything
would justify me in betraying my secret, I must know if the new
complications I suspected lay in that direction. And Clarence was my
only possible source of information. Isabel knew nothing, I felt sure,
and it was not the least use applying to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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