The simplest plot sufficed Heywood, and the minimum of characters. _The Pardoner and the Friar_ (possibly as early as 1520) demands only four persons, while the plot may be summed up in a few sentences, thus: A Pardoner and a Friar, from closely adjoining platforms, are endeavouring to address the same crowd, the one to sell relics, the other to beg money for his order. By a sort of stichomythic alternation each for a time is supposed to carry on his speech regardless of the other, so that to follow either connectedly the alternate lines must be read in sequence. But every now and then they break off for abuse, and finally they fight. A Parson and neighbour Prat interfere to convey them to jail for the disturbance, but are themselves badly mauled. Then the Pardoner and the Friar go off amicably together. There is no allegory, no moral; merely satire on the fraudulent and hypocritical practices of pardoners and friars, together with some horseplay to raise a louder laugh. The fashion of that satire may be judged from the following exchange of home truths by the rival orators. _Friar._ What, should ye give ought to parting pardoners?-- _Pardoner._ What, should ye spend on these flattering liars,-- _Friar._ What, should ye give ought to these bold beggars?-- _Pardoner._ As be these babbling monks and these friars,-- _Friar._ Let them hardly labour for their living;-- _Pardoner._ Which do nought daily but babble and lie-- _Friar._ It much hurteth them good men's giving,-- _Pardoner._ And tell you fables dear enough at a fly,-- _Friar._ For that maketh them idle and slothful to wark,-- _Pardoner._ As doth this babbling friar here to-day?-- _Friar._ That for none other thing they will cark.-- _Pardoner._ Drive him hence, therefore, in the twenty-devil way!-- _The Four P.P._ (? 1540), similarly, requires no more than a palmer, a pardoner, a 'pothecary and a pedlar, and for plot only a single conversation, devoid even of the rough play which usually enlivened discussions on the stage. In the debate arises a contest as to who can tell the biggest lie--won by the palmer's statement that he has never seen a woman out of patience--and that is the sole dramatic element. Nevertheless, by sheer wit interest is maintained to the end, every one smiling over the rival claims of such veteran humbugs as the old-time pardoner and apothecary; scant reverence does 'Pothecary vouchsafe to Pardoner's potent relics, his 'of All Hallows the blessed jaw-bone', his 'great toe of the Trinity', his 'buttock-bone of Pentecost', and the rest. One of the raciest passages occurs in the Pardoner's relation of the wonders he has performed in the execution of his office. Amongst other deeds of note is the bringing back of a certain woman from hell to earth. For this purpose the Pardoner visited the lower regions in person--so he says--and brought her out in triumph with the full and joyful consent of Lucifer.