Autobiographical fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
There came a time when her uraemic trouble affected my grandmother’s
eyes. For some days she could not see at all. Her eyes were not at all
like those of a blind person, but remained just the same as before. And
I gathered that she could see nothing only from the strangeness of a
certain smile of welcome which she assumed the moment one opened the
door, until one had come up to her and taken her hand, a smile which
began too soon and remained stereotyped on her lips, fixed, but always
full-faced, and endeavouring to be visible from all points, because she
could no longer rely upon her sight to regulate it, to indicate the
right moment, the proper direction, to bring it to the point, to make it
vary according to the change of position or of facial expression of the
person who had come in; because it was left isolated, without the
accompanying smile in her eyes which would have distracted a little from
it the attention of the visitor, it assumed in its awkwardness an undue
importance, giving one the impression of an exaggerated friendliness.
Then her sight was completely restored; from her eyes the wandering
affliction passed to her ears. For several days my grandmother was deaf.
And as she was afraid of being taken by surprise by the sudden entry of
some one whom she would not have heard come in, all day long, albeit she
was lying with her face to the wall, she kept turning her head sharply
towards the door. But the movement of her neck was clumsy, for one
cannot adapt oneself in a few days to this transposition of faculties,
so as, if not actually to see sounds, to listen with one’s eyes. Finally
her pain grew less, but the impediment of her speech increased. We were
obliged to ask her to repeat almost everything that she said.
And now my grandmother, realising that we could no longer understand
her, gave up altogether the attempt to speak and lay perfectly still.
When she caught sight of me she gave a sort of convulsive start like a
person who suddenly finds himself unable to breathe, but could make no
intelligible sound. Then, overcome by her sheer powerlessness, she let
her head drop on to the pillows, stretched herself out flat in her bed,
her face grave, like a face of marble, her hands motionless on the sheet
or occupied in some purely physical action such as that of wiping her
fingers with her handkerchief. She made no effort to think. Then came a
state of perpetual agitation. She was incessantly trying to get up. But
we restrained her so far as we could from doing so, for fear of her
discovering how paralysed she was. One day when she had been left alone
for a moment I found her standing on the floor in her nightgown trying
to open the window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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