Great Britain. Royal Navy -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction
Meanwhile, Alter was waiting for signs and failing to recognize them.
He was not, he told himself, the man he had once been, and to his eye
she seemed to have changed very little in all the years. Moreover, the
fact that there had been real affection between her and her husband
made her seem difficult to approach. He was by no means convinced
that her old love for himself had survived. It was natural that their
present friendship should have taken its place, and any attempt on his
part to insist upon love might sever the friendship for which now he
chiefly lived.
Then came Hartington’s letter. John needed help. It gave Alter his
chance, his opening. But he could not be blind to the fact that, if he
offered to help the son, the mother, in accepting, would feel that she
had placed herself under some obligation; and, whether the offer of
marriage were coincident with or subsequent to the offer of assistance,
the acceptance of one would at least be a powerful argument for the
acceptance of the other. And he wanted her choice to be free. He wanted
her to accept him for his own sake, not for that of her son. Yet, apart
from all other considerations, he was eager to help John because he
felt that John was worth assistance. Alter had reached the point in the
lives of successful men at which the highest good and the most intense
personal satisfaction seem to spring from the help it is possible to
give to others.
Far into the night he sat with Hartington’s letter on his knee,
considering how best to help, and cursing the impossibility of
frankness in this instance. It would have been so easy could he have
gone to John’s mother and have said: “You can count on me. Have
the boy out. I’ll see him through Oxford. I’ll give him the start
which, as I understand him, is all he needs. And all this you will
please regard as a side issue. It has nothing whatever to do with our
relations with each other. There’s no kind of obligation on you.” But
that was impossible. This, by the evil decree of Fate, was a question
of money, and money set up an obligation which, where man and woman
were concerned, no good-will or friendship could nullify. Hartington
said that John had written home. The letter must have arrived. If he
went straight to her now, making no mention of his knowledge, she
would inevitably look upon him as the man who was able to solve the
problem with which her son had confronted her. Her decision would be
influenced one way or the other. And, what was more, she would tell him
about John; she would feel bound to tell him. He would have to confess
foreknowledge, and unending complications would ensue.
No; there was one thing to be done, one thing only. He went to his
table and wrote to Hartington.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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