'I am not so sure about that. I have brought mother and the children to
town against her judgment and against my father's; they gave way to my
opinion as to one who from superior education has larger knowledge of the
world than they. I must prove my promises, even if Heaven should fall
upon me for it, or what a miserable future will theirs be! We must not
be poor in London. Poverty in the country is a sadness, but poverty in
town is a horror. There is something not without grandeur in the thought
of starvation on an open mountain or in a wide wood, and your bones lying
there to bleach in the pure sun and rain; but a back garret in a rookery,
and the other starvers in the room insisting on keeping the window
shut--anything to deliver us from that!'
'How gloomy you can be, Berta! It will never be so dreadful. Why, I can
take in plain sewing, and you can do translations, and mother can knit
stockings, and so on. How much longer will this house be yours?'
'Two years. If I keep it longer than that I shall have to pay rent at
the rate of three hundred a year. The Petherwin estate provides me with
it till then, which will be the end of Lady Petherwin's term.'
'I see it; and you ought to marry before the house is gone, if you mean
to marry high,' murmured Picotee, in an inadequate voice, as one
confronted by a world so tragic that any hope of her assisting therein
was out of the question.
It was not long after this exposition of the family affairs that
Christopher called upon them; but Picotee was not present, having gone to
think of superhuman work on the spur of Ethelberta's awakening talk.
There was something new in the way in which Ethelberta received the
announcement of his name; passion had to do with it, so had
circumspection; the latter most, for the first time since their reunion.
'I am going to leave this part of England,' said Christopher, after a few
gentle preliminaries. 'I was one of the applicants for the post of
assistant-organist at Melchester Cathedral when it became vacant, and I
find I am likely to be chosen, through the interest of one of my father's
friends.'
'I congratulate you.'
'No, Ethelberta, it is not worth that. I did not originally mean to
follow this course at all; but events seemed to point to it in the
absence of a better.'
'I too am compelled to follow a course I did not originally mean to
take.' After saying no more for a few moments, she added, in a tone of
sudden openness, a richer tincture creeping up her cheek, 'I want to put
a question to you boldly--not exactly a question--a thought. Have you
considered whether the relations between us which have lately prevailed
are--are the best for you--and for me?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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