The Harvest of a Quiet Eye: Leisure Thoughts for Busy LivesVernon, John Richard
Religion
The Harvest of a Quiet Eye: Leisure Thoughts for Busy Lives
Vernon, John Richard
Christian life
Is not the tone of thought here expressed one natural to us all at
certain times, when for us life’s vivid lights and deep shadows have
all toned into a uniform half tint? We all have such twilight hours:
times when the sun has sunk, and our heart has gone down with it,
and a grey depression settles gradually upon the soul. Times when we
feel that our life is little, and low, and mean: when we yearn for a
sympathy that earth has not to give; when we turn away disheartened and
disgusted from our life and from ourselves, and turn the faces of what
seemed our most faultless works to the wall, and care not if we never
saw them again. Times when we go about to cause our heart to despair of
all the labour which we took under the sun. Times when the failures of
others seem better than our successes; times when we lament over the
lowness of our aim, the meanness of our intention, the winglessness
of our soul; and yet times when our very discontent with all that we
are and have accomplished, our very disgust at our grovelling minds,
prove our affinity with higher things than any of these that we have
grasped here. Those anguished yearnings to be nobler prove that we are
something nobler than we hold ourselves to be. The depression of the
twilight marks our kindred with the golden glory of the sun. Thus may
we cheer our hearts, that in their dull hours are wont to judge our
aims by our attainments, and from the inadequacy of the performance, to
conclude the lowness of the intention. The workman’s dissatisfaction
with his own life’s work is the clear proof that his inmost self
is nobler, not only than his attainments, but often even than his
endeavours.
I awake from my abstraction, however, and look around. The twilight has
deepened, the flowers are losing their colour, the surrounding objects
their distinctness. One peculiar property, sometimes a charm, sometimes
a dread, of this light neither clear nor dark, begins to be developed.
I mean the uncertainty, the indefiniteness, the illusions of twilight.
And how many analogies occur to my mind as I sit here musing on the
twilight, and comparing with it the indistinctness and the ænigma in
which we are living here.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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