“That’s fair!” shrilled the Chairman. “On the Professor’s own
invitation.” In a tone lowered to the alarmed quack’s ear, he added:
“Of course, you can back out if you want to. But I’d advise you to do
it quick if you’re going to do it at all. This is a queer-tempered
town.”
So significant was his tone that the other judged advance to be safer
than retreat. Therefore, summoning all his assurance, he sought, in an
impassioned speech, to win back his hearers. He was a natural orator,
and, when he reached his peroration, he had a large part of his
audience with him again. In the flush of renewed confidence he made a
grave tactical error, just when he should have closed.
“Let this hireling of the Doctors’ Trust, the trust that would strangle
all honest competition, answer these if he can!” he shouted, shaking
the page of testimonials before his adversary’s face. “Let him confute
the evidence of these good and honorable women who have appeared here
to-night; women who have no selfish aims to subserve. Let him impugn
the motives of the reverend clergyman and of the honored statesman who
sit here with me. Let him do this, or let him shrink from this hall in
the shame and dishonor which he seeks to heap upon one whose sole
ambition it is to relieve suffering and banish pain and death.”
There was hearty applause as the speaker sat down and Dr. Strong arose
to face a gathering now turned for the most part hostile. He wasted no
time in introduction or argument. “Mr. Chairman,” said he, “Professor
Gray rests his case on his testimonials. With Mr. Clyde I have
investigated a number of them, and will give you my results. Here are
half a dozen testimonials to the value of one of his nostrums, the
Benefaction Pills, from women who have been cured, so they state, of
diseases ranging from eczema through indigestion to consumption. All,
please note, by the same wonderful medicine. And here,” he drew a small
box from his pocket, “is a sample of the medicine. I have just had it
analyzed. What do you suppose they are? Sugar! Just plain sugar and
nothing else.” Professor Gray leaped to his feet. “You don’t deny the
cures!” he thundered.
“I don’t deny that these people are well to-day. And I don’t deny that
the testimonials from them are genuine, as documents. But your sugar
pills had no more to do with the cure than so much moonshine. Listen,
you people! Here is the core and secret of quackery:
“All diseases tend to cure themselves, through the natural resistance
of the body. But for that we should all be dead. This man, or some
other of his kind, comes along with his promises and pills, and when
the patient recovers from the disease in the natural course of events,
he claims the credit. Meantime, he is selling sugar at about one
hundred dollars per pound.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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