Then, with what seemed at times incredible and disconcerting swiftness,
had come over him, in these few days of sunny quietude, a limitless
unreasoning tenderness for a young creature utterly unlike his former
ideals of womanhood. Even when aghast at the thought of how easily he
might have missed her on the way of his life--even when he felt her
already so much a part of himself that he could no longer have described
her, as he had first seen her, to a stranger--Wantley admitted, nay,
forced on himself the knowledge, that she was not beautiful, not even
particularly gifted or clever. One reason why he had always displayed so
sincere a lack of liking for the heiresses, willing to be peeresses,
whom Penelope had thrust upon his notice, had been that to him they had
all looked so unaccountably plain; and yet, compared with Cecily Wake,
he knew that more than one of these young women might well have been
considered a beauty.
Wantley had always been fond of analyzing his own emotions, and now the
simplicity, as well as the strength, of his feeling amazed him. When
with Cecily Wake he felt that he was journeying through some delicious
unknown country, the old Paradise rediscovered by them two, she still a
sweet mysterious stranger, whose better acquaintance he was making day
by day. But when she was no longer by his side, and there were many
hours he could only spend in thinking of her, then Wantley felt as a
mother feels about her own little child, as if he had always known her,
always loved her with this placid and yet uneasy care, this trusting and
yet watchful tenderness.
He had ever deprecated enthusiasm, and had actively disliked
philanthropists, as only those who in early youth are constrained to
endure the company of enthusiasts and the atmosphere of philanthropy can
deprecate the one and dislike the other. Well, now, so the young man
whimsically told himself, had come what his old enemies--those who had
gathered about his uncle and aunt in days he hated to remember--would
doubtless have recognised as a distinct 'call.' It seemed to him that he
had made a good beginning that first Sunday afternoon, when he had kept
the aunt in play while the niece had accomplished her prosaic errand of
mercy.
The same evening, late at night, he had gone into the room which had
been the great Lord Wantley's study, and, under the grim eyes of the man
who had never judged him fairly, he had pulled out faded Blue-Books,
reports, and pamphlets which had been the tools of a mighty worker for
his kind. Then, lamp in hand, he had wandered on into the studio, and
there, oddly out of keeping with their fellows on the pretty quaintly
placed white shelves framing the door, he had found newer, more
digestible, contributions to the problems to which he was now, half
unwillingly, turning his mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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