"Well," said Alice then a little frightened, "why won't you think that
perhaps Warren might have changed, too; that whatever Warren has done,
it was done more like--like the little boy who has never had his fling,
who gets dizzy with his own freedom, and does something foolish without
analyzing just what he is doing?"
"But Warren, after all, isn't a child!" Rachael said sadly.
"But Warren is in some ways; that's just it," Alice said eagerly. "He
has always been singularly--well, unbalanced, in some ways. Don't you
know there was always a sort of simplicity, a sort of bright innocence
about Warren? He believed whatever anybody said until you laughed at
him; he took every one of his friends on his own valuation. It's only
where his work is concerned that you ever see Warren positive, and
dictatorial, and keen--"
Rachael's eyes had filled with tears.
"But he isn't the man I loved, and married," she said slowly. "I
thought he was a sort of god--he could do no wrong for me!"
"Yes, but that isn't the way to feel toward anybody," persisted Alice.
"No man is a god, no man is perfect. You're not perfect yourself; I'm
not. Can't you just say to yourself that human beings are faulty--it
may be your form of it to get dignified and sulk, and Warren's to
wander off dreamily into curious paths--but that's life, Rachael,
that's 'better or worse,' isn't it?"
"It isn't a question of my holding out for a mere theory, Alice,"
Rachael said after a while; "I'm not saying that I'm all in the right,
and that I will never see Warren again until he admits it, and everyone
admits it--that isn't what I want. But it's just that I'm dead, so far
as that old feeling is concerned. It is as if a child saw his mother
suddenly turn into a fiend, and do some hideously cruel act; no amount
of cool reason could ever convince that child again that his mother was
sweet and good."
"But as you get older," Alice smiled, "you differentiate between good
and good, and you see grades in evil, too. Everything isn't all good or
all bad, like the heroes and the villains of the old plays. If Warren
had done a 'hideously cruel' thing deliberately, that would be one
thing; what he has done is quite another. The God who made us put sex
into the world, Warren didn't; and Warren only committed, in his--what
is it?--forty-eighth year one of the follies that most boys dispose of
in their teens. Be generous, Rachael, and forgive him. Give him another
trial!"
"How CAN I forgive him?" Rachael said, badly shaken, and through tears.
"No, no, no, I couldn't! I never can."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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