When a boy is frequently ill, when his constitution is delicate and
easily upset, it is necessary that he should be very careful what he
does, how he exposes himself to damp or cold, how he over-exerts himself
at work or play. But for a boy to exercise this care is very difficult.
He feels fairly well, and the other boys are going skating or boating,
why should he not do so? The day is not very cold, and the other boys do
not wear comforters; they laugh at him if he does so. He will not admit
that he cannot do what other boys can do. So he has to be looked after
and guarded, and cared for and watched, and made to do things he
dislikes. If, too, the supervision becomes unnecessarily close, if there
is a tendency to interfere not only where he is wrong and wants
correction, but in many details where it is not required, is it not
natural? If in time it so comes, or the boy thinks it so comes, that he
cannot move hand or foot, cannot go in or out, cannot think or read, or
even rest, without perpetual correction, is it so very unnatural?
Mistake? Who shall say where the mistake lay? Who shall say if there was
any mistake at all, unless great affection be a mistake? Maybe it was
the inevitable result of circumstances. But still there it was. And
though a small boy may accept such rule without question, yet as he
grows up it irks him more and more, until at last it may become a daily
and hourly irritation growing steadily more unbearable, more
exasperating, month by month.
There is, too, in many people--women, I think, mostly, and with women
chiefly in reverse proportion to their knowledge--a tendency to give
advice. Few are without the desire, maybe a kindly desire in its
inception, to advise others. The world at large does not take to it
kindly, so the advice has to be bottled up, to be expended in its
fulness where it can. This boy got it all. He received advice from
innumerable people, enough to have furnished a universe. Most of it he
felt to be worthless, almost all of it he was sure was impertinence. Yet
he could not resent it, because he was under authority.
And now perhaps you may see how there grew up slowly in him an utter
loathing of authority, a hatred to being checked and supervised, and
advised and lectured for ever. Sometimes he would revolt and say, "Can't
you leave me alone?" and this was insubordination. He would have given
all he could, everything, for liberty. "I would sooner," he said to
himself, "catch cold and die than be worried daily not to forget my
comforter. I would sooner grow up a fool and earn my living by breaking
stones in the road than be supervised into my lessons like this, that I
may be learned. But when I am grown up it must cease. It SHALL cease.
Then I shall be free to go my own way, and do wrong and suffer for it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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