She was very happy, but she did not think. She did not want to think. When
any obtrusive thought presented itself she instantly strove to banish it,
and at first she succeeded. She wanted to recall the pleasurable
sensations of the day, and to prolong them.
The last sixteen hours seemed longer in the retrospect than any other
measure of time with which she had been acquainted. She felt as if the
terrible dream from which she had awakened that morning in affright had
happened in some other state of being which ended abruptly while she was
pacing the shady walks of the old palace garden with Mosley Menteith in
the afternoon, and was now only to be vaguely recalled. Some great change
in herself had taken place since then; she would not define it; she
imagined she could not; but she knew what it was all the same, and
rejoiced.
They were going to Malta.
The feeling resolved itself into that clear idea inevitably; and after a
little pause it was followed by the question: "Well, and what then?"
But either her mind refused to receive the reply, or else in the Book of
Fate the answer was still unwritten, for none came to her consciousness.
Turning at last from the window, she found the eyes of the Good Shepherd
in the picture fixed upon her, the beautiful benign eyes she loved so well;
and looking up at him responsively, she waited a moment for her heart to
expand anew, and then set herself to meditate upon his life. It was a
religious exercise she had taught herself, not knowing that the Roman
Catholics practise it as a duty always. She thought of him first as the
dear Lord who died for her, and her heart awoke trembling with joy and
fear at the realization of the glorious deed. His tenderness came upon
her, and she bowed her head to receive it. Her ears were straining as it
were to hear the sweetness of his voice. She sank on her knees before his
image to be the nearer to him while she dwelt on the mystery of his divine
patience, and felt herself filled with the serene intensity of his holy
love. She recalled the faultless grace and beauty of his person, and
revelled in the thought of it, till suddenly a deep and sensuous glow of
delight in him flooded her being, and her very soul was faint for him. She
called him by name caressingly: "Dear Lord!" She confessed her passionate
attachment to him. She implored him to look upon her lovingly. She offered
him the devotion of her life. And then she sank into a perfect stupor of
ecstatic contemplation. This was the way she worshipped, dwelling on the
charms of his person and character with the same senses that her delicate
maiden mind still shrank from devoting to an earthly lover; calling him
what she would have had her husband be: "Master!"--the woman's ideal of
perfect bliss: "A strong support!" "A sure refuge!"--praying him to
strengthen her, to make her wise, to keep her pure; to help, to guide, to
comfort her! and finding in each repetition of familiar phrases the
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