The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh: Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of; William Carleton, Volume ThreeCarleton, William
History
The Hedge School; The Midnight Mass; The Donagh: Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of; William Carleton, Volume Three
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Reillaghan and M'Kenna both reached the chapel a considerable time
before the arrival of the priest; and as a kind of Whiteboy committee
was to sit for the purpose of investigating their conduct in holding out
so dangerous an example as they did, by striking each other, contrary
to their oaths as brothers under the same system, they accordingly were
occupied each in collecting his friends, and conciliating those whom
they supposed to be hostile to them on the opposite party. It had been
previously arranged that this committee should hold a court of inquiry,
and that, provided they could not agree, the matter was to be referred
to two hedge-schoolmasters, who should act as umpires; but if it
happened that the latter could not decide it, there was no other
tribunal appointed to which a final appeal could be made.
According to these regulations, a court was opened in a shebeen-house,
that stood somewhat distant from the road. Twelve young fellows seated
themselves on each side of a deal table, with one of the umpires at each
end of it, and a bottle of whiskey in the middle. In a higher sphere
of life it is usual to refer such questionable conduct as occurs in
duelling, to the arbitration of those who are known to be qualified by
experience in the duello. On this occasion the practice was not much
departed from, those who had been thus selected as the committee being
the notoriously pugnacious “boys” in the whole parish.
“Now, boys,” said one of the schoolmasters, “let us proceed to
operations wid proper spirit,” and he filled a glass of whiskey as he
spoke. “Here's all your healths, and next, pace and unanimity to us!
Call in the culprits.”
Both were accordingly admitted, and the first speaker resumed--“Now, in
the second place, I'll read yez that part of the oath which binds us all
under the obligation of not strikin' one another--hem! hem! 'No
brother is to strike another, knowing him to be such; he's to strike
him--hem!--neither in fair nor market, at home nor abroad, neither
in public nor in private, neither on Sunday nor week-day, present or
absent, nor--'”
“I condimn that,” observed the other master--“I condimn it, as bein' too
latitudinarian in principle, an' containing a para-dogma; besides it's
bad grammar.”
“You're rather airly in the market wid your bad grammar,” replied the
other: “I'll grant you the paradogma, but I'll stand up for the grammar
of it, while I'm able to stand up for anything.”
“Faith, an' if you rise to stand up for that,” replied his friend, “and
doesn't choose to sit down till you prove it to be good grammar, you'll
be a standin' joke all your life.”
“I bleeve it's purty conspicuous in the parish, that I have often, in
our disputations about grammar, left you widout a leg to stand upon at
all,” replied the other.
This sally was well received, but his opponent was determined to push
home the argument at once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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