"No; but I want to tell you while I may that it has come very near to
me in these last few days. At first I was inclined to make another
query of it, and to speculate as to your probable motive; but latterly
I've come to call it by its right name."
Jeffard shakes his head slowly, and removes his pipe to say: "Don't
make any more mistakes, Lansdale. I'm neither better nor worse than I
was that night when I told you the story of the man and his temptation.
I know what you mean and what you would say; but this experiment and
its results--the twenty odd pounds of flesh you have put on, and the
new lease of life they stand for--mean more to me than they do to you."
"I don't begin to understand the drift of that," says Lansdale.
"No? I wonder if you would understand and believe if I should tell
you the truth; if I should confess that my motive, so far as you are
concerned, is entirely selfish?"
"Since understanding implies belief, I shall have to say no to that.
But you might try,--for your own satisfaction."
"It's altogether unprofitable; but perhaps it's your due. I'll have
to go back a little to make it clear. In the old days we were pretty
good friends, but I think you will admit that there have always been
reservations. You haven't known me and I haven't known you as friends
of the David and Jonathan sort know each other. Isn't that so?"
Lansdale is constrained to say "Yes," wishing it were otherwise.
Jeffard refills his pipe and fishes for another live coal in the
fire-fringe. The _g-r-r-rh_ of the grazing horses comes from the
near-by glade, and again the silence begins to grow. Suddenly he says:
"Let's drop it, Lansdale, and talk about something else."
"No, go on; nothing you can say will efface the brotherly fact."
"Very well,--if you will have it. You said you were inclined to
question my motive. It was more than questionable; it was frankly
selfish."
"Selfish? You'll have to spell it out large for me. From my point of
view it seems rather the other way about. What had you to gain by
saddling yourself with the care of a sick man?"
"I can't put it in words--not without laying myself open to the charge
of playing to the gallery. But let me state a fact and ask a question.
A year ago you thought it was all up with you, and you didn't seem to
care much. A few months later I found you fighting for your life like
a shipwrecked sailor with land in sight. What did it?"
That the lava-crust of reserve is altogether molten is evinced in
Lansdale's straightforward reply.
"Love,--love for a woman. I think you must have known that."
"I did. That was why you were making the desperate fight for life; and
that is why we are here to-night, you and I. I love the woman, too."
Lansdale shakes his head slowly, and an ineffable smile is Jeffard's
reward.
"And yet you call it selfishness, Henry. Man, man! you have
deliberately gone about to save my life when another might have taken
it!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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