In her preoccupation she had not noticed that her husband had left the
house, and that he did not return to it.
In the morning, as she left her room, the old nurse came to her with a
grave face, and took her into Majendie's room. Nanna pointed out to her
that his bed had not been slept in. Anne's heart sank. Later on, the
telegram he sent explained his absence. She supposed that he had slept
at the Ransomes' or the Hannays', and she thought no more of it. The
business of the day again absorbed her.
In the afternoon Canon Wharton called on her. It was the recognised visit
of condolence, delayed till her return. In his manner with Mrs. Majendie
there was no sign of the adroit little man of the world who had drunk
whiskey with Mrs. Majendie's husband the night before. His manner was
reticent, reverential, not obtrusively tender. He abstained from all the
commonplaces of consolation. He did not speak of the dead child; but
reminded her of the greater maternal work that God had called upon her
to do, and told her that the children of many mothers would rise up and
call her blessed. He bade her believe that her life, which seemed to her
ended, had in reality only just begun. He said that, if great natures
were reserved for great sorrows, great afflictions, they were also
dedicated to great uses. Uses to which their sorrows were the unique and
perfect training.
He left her strengthened, uplifted, and consoled.
On Sunday morning she attended the service at All Souls. In the afternoon
she walked to the great flat cemetery of Scale, where Edith's and Peggy's
graves lay side by side. In the evening she went again to All Souls.
The church services were now the only link left between her soul and
God. She clung desperately to them, trying to recapture through these
consecrated public methods the peace that should have been her most
private personal possession.
For, all the time, now, she was depressed by a sense of separation from
the Unseen. She struggled for communion; she prostrated herself in
surrender, and was flung back upon herself, an outcast from the spiritual
world. She was alone in that alien place of earth where everything had
been taken from her. She almost rebelled against the cruelty of the
heavenly hand, that, having smitten her, withheld its healing. She had
still faith, but she had no joy nor comfort in her faith. Therefore she
occupied herself incessantly with works; appeasing, putting off the hours
that waited for her as their prey.
It was at night that her desolation found her most helpless. For then she
thought of her dead child and of the husband whom she regarded as worse
than dead.
She had one terrible consolation. She had once doubted the justice of her
attitude to him. Now she was sure. Her justification was complete.
She was sitting at work again early on Monday morning, in the
drawing-room that overlooked the street.
About ten o'clock she heard a cab drive up to the door.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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