Once when Felipa got out of the ambulance to tramp beside it, in the
stinging snow whirls, and to start the thin blood in her veins, she had
looked up into his blanket-swathed face, and laughed. "I wonder if you
looked like that when you took me through this part of the world twenty
years ago," she said.
He did not answer, and she knew that he was annoyed. She had come to see
that he was always annoyed by such references, and she made them more
frequent for that very reason, half in perversity, half in a fixed
determination not to be ashamed of her origin, for she felt, without
quite realizing it, that to come to have shame and contempt for herself
would be to lose every hold upon life.
She was happier than she had been in Washington. Landor saw that, but he
refused to see that she was also better. However much a man may admire,
in the abstract, woman as a fine natural animal, unspoiled by social
pettiness, he does not fancy the thing in his wife. From the artistic
standpoint, a regal barbarian, unconfined, with her virtue and her vices
on a big scale, is very well; from the domestic, it is different. She is
more suitable in the garb of fashion, with homemade character of
parlor-ornament proportions.
Felipa had discarded, long since, the short skirt and moccasins of her
girlhood, and had displayed no inconsiderable aptitude in the matter of
fashions; but she was given to looseness of draperies and a carelessness
of attire in her own home that the picturesqueness of her beauty alone
only saved from slatternliness. There was one manifestation of ill taste
which she did not give, however, one common enough with the wives of
most of the officers. She was never to be found running about the post,
or sitting upon the porches, with her husband's cape around her
shoulders and his forage-cap over her eyes. Her instinct for the
becoming was unfailing. This was a satisfaction to Landor. But it was a
secret grievance that she was most contented when in her riding habit,
tearing foolhardily over the country.
Another grievance was the Ellton baby. Felipa adored it, and for no
reason that he could formulate, he did not wish her to. He wanted a
child of his own. Altogether he was not so easy to get on with as he had
been. She did not see why. Being altogether sweet-humored and cheerful
herself, she looked for sweet humor and cheerfulness in him, and was
more and more often disappointed. Not that he was ever once guilty of
even a quick burst of ill temper. It would have been a relief.
Sometimes when she was quite certain of being undisturbed, she took
Cairness's one letter from the desk, and read and reread it, and went
over every word and look she had had from him. She had forgotten
nothing, but though her olive skin would burn and then grow more
colorless than ever when she allowed herself to recall, not even a sigh
would come from between the lips that had grown a very little set.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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