He told an absolutely pointless story of how a man had helped a young woman across the street, and seen her ankle in the process. He told it with immense gusto, laughing and repeating the point at least six times. "William, William!" laughed Colonel Parsons, heartily. "You should keep those things for the smoking-room." "What d'you think of it, Frances?" asked the gallant Major, still hugely enjoying the joke. Mrs. Parsons blushed a little, and for decency's sake prevented herself from smiling; she felt rather wicked. "I don't want to hear any more of your tales, William." "Ha, ha!" laughed Uncle William, "I knew you'd like it. And that one I told you in the fly, Richmond--you know, about the petticoat." "Sh-sh!" said the Colonel, smiling. "You can't tell that to a lady." "P'r'aps I'd better not. But it's a good story, though." They both laughed. "I think it's dreadful the things you men talk about as soon as you're alone," said Mrs. Parsons. The two God-fearing old soldiers laughed again, admitting their wickedness. "One must talk about something," said Uncle William. "And upon my word, I don't know anything better to talk about than the fair sex." Soon James appeared, and shook hands with his uncle. "You're looking younger than ever, Uncle William. You make me feel quite old." "Oh, I never age, bless you! Why, I was talking to my old friend, Lady Green, the other day--she was a Miss Lake, you know--and she said to me: 'Upon my word, Major Forsyth, you're wonderful. I believe you've found the secret of perpetual youth.' 'The fact is,' I said, 'I never let myself grow old. If you once give way to it, you're done.' 'How do you manage it?' she said. 'Madam,' I answered, 'it's the simplest thing in the world. I keep regular hours, and I wear flannel next to my skin.'" "Come, come, Uncle William," said James, with a smile. "You didn't mention your underlinen to a lady!" "Upon my word, I'm telling you exactly what I said." "You're very free in your conversation." "Well, you know, I find the women expect it from me. Of course, I never go beyond the line." Then Major Forsyth talked of the fashions, and of his clothes, of the scandal of the day, and the ancestry of the persons concerned, of the war. "You can say what you like," he remarked, "but my opinion is that Roberts is vastly overrated. I met at the club the other day a man whose first cousin has served under Roberts in India--his first cousin, mind you, so it's good authority--and this chap told me, in strict confidence, of course, that his first cousin had no opinion of Roberts. That's what a man says who has actually served under him." "It is certainly conclusive," said James. "I wonder your friend's first cousin didn't go to the War Office and protest against Bobs being sent out."