"They dropped out of Louis's coat when I began to mend it this evening.
And there was worse. He or some other boy had written this vile thing."
Esther handed it to Paul what she had found. Paul read it and his face
grew white and stern. Esther sat down and put her head on her arms and
almost shrieked.
"Oh, I can't bear it! Louis! Louis! How could you! Oh, how can his soul
ever be clean again! Oh, boy, your mother's heart is broken! After all
my prayers for you! After all the days and nights of consecration! Oh,
my son, my son! Would God I had died before I knew or saw this! Oh, my
Master, the cup is too bitter! I can't drink it!"
Never in all his knowledge of Esther had Paul ever seen her like this.
His own heart almost stopped at the sight. For years she had been so
uniformly calm and strong even when her children had disappointed her.
She had with high-spirited motherhood faced their sins and wrong-doing
with a peaceful faith that they would do right in the end. But this
discovery seemed to smite her soul down into a hopeless darkness, where
there was no redemption. And as Paul looked at her there was in his soul
more anguish for her than fear for Louis over what she had discovered.
In a sense he was prepared for this, somewhat, because of the glimpses
he had been getting that very evening of Louis's nature and its
temptations.
He kneeled by his wife and put his arm about her.
"This is too great for you to bear alone. Besides, it may not be as
hopeless or as terrible as you think. Let me see Louis. I have just been
having an evening with him. If he hasn't gone to bed I believe now is
the time for me to see him."
Esther had grown quiet. She seemed to be praying. Paul got up and went
out of the room along the hallway to Louis's room and knocked. At
Louis's answer he went in and found him at work on the writing desk.
Without any preliminary Paul held out the cards to Louis and said,
"Louis, are these yours?"
Louis' face blanched on the instant. His hand trembled so he could not
hold the cards still. He tried to answer but his tongue seemed
paralysed. His father repeated the question more sternly. Louis broke
down completely, flung himself on the bed in a spasm of fear and shame.
His father eyed him with conflicting feelings. Again he was strongly
reminded of Louis Darcy and his many experiences with him. Louis still
refused to answer, and Paul said:
"Look up here, Louis. Look up and answer me. Did you write that?"
His father thrust the paper his mother had found close up to the boy.
Louis cried out. "No, no, father. That is not mine. One of the
boys------"
Paul felt relieved as far as that went, for Louis had never lied to him.
"But these cards. Are these yours?"
"Yes."
"How long have you had them?"
"I got them yesterday."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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