And added to all the rest that influenced him that night was the shame
he began to feel that his father knew his real motive for wanting to
leave the school and make money. He had become fascinated and led away
by a certain set in the High School and he wanted to go with them, wear
expensive clothes, frequent society functions and spend freely and get
the reputation of a generous and even lavish giver. This he could not do
with the allowance his father gave him, and he chafed under it
foolishly. He had not supposed his father would detect his underlying
motive in his longing to quit school and go into business. Now that he
realised his father did understand he felt ashamed to continue his plea
as he had first made it. At the end of the evening together, a certain
definite agreement was reached between father and son.
Louis agreed to continue his studies for another year and do his best
with those branches he found most difficult where he was not allowed to
choose electives. His father agreed to study with him in a regular
course, helping him through hard places, practically being his tutor and
agreeing to give him all the time he needed in the evening. "And why
not?" Paul kept asking almost with a sob as he noted the glow that was
creeping back into Louis's eye, the glow of a new interest in study.
"Why not? What shall it profit the reformer if he reforms the whole
state and loses his own children? I don't believe that even high-flown
Patriotism requires such a sacrifice as that."
When Louis went up to bed tears were on his cheeks and a choking in his
breast. His father had simply said, "My boy, I want you to be a man.
Your mother and I have prayed for you all these years. We believe you
will not disappoint us. Don't forget God, Louis. You need to pray to
overcome this great temptation of impure thinking. The gates of Hell are
close by that sort of life. Not even your father and mother can spare
you from ruin that way. You have got to fight it out yourself. God
helping you."
Paul looked up at the clock and saw it was after midnight, but on a
venture he called up the committee room at the State House. A night
janitor answered and informed him that the committee had been gone for
over an hour.
He went upstairs and found Esther in her sewing room, her face pale and
troubled, traces of tears on her cheeks and such a look of real fear on
her face that Paul exclaimed, "Esther! What is it?"
She turned to her table and picked up a package of postcards and with a
shudder of loathing held them out to Paul.
He took them and saw at a second's glance that they were the vulgar,
coarse, suggestive and even indecent photographic postcards which this
great civilised, supposedly Christian, government even yet allows to
pass through the post office and be displayed and sold at every news
stand and book store in the country.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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