Governesses -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
I saw nothing, of course. I saw nothing that night. I saw nothing the
next day. Each one of her helpless, unskilful moves was so plain to me
that I could have wept; but I was turning over in my mind what I could
do to let her know she was deceived. I was reproaching myself, too, for
being so treacherous a confidante. All the great love-heroines had an
attendant like me, who bewailed and lamented the steps their mistresses
were taking, and yet lent a hand. Here I was, the nurse to this Juliet,
the Brangaene to this Isolde, but acting as a counter-agent to all
romantic schemes. I cannot say I admired myself; but what was I to do?
To make a long story short I decided to do nothing. You may scorn me,
oh, reader, for that; but I came to a place where I saw it would be vain
to interfere. Even a child must sometimes be left to fight its own
battles and stand face to face with its own fate; and how much more a
married woman! It became the more evident to me that this was what I
could best do for Mrs. Brokenshire in proportion as I watched the leaden
hands and feet with which she carried out her tasks and inferred a
leaden heart. A leaden heart is bad enough, but a leaden heart offering
itself in vain--what lesson could go home with more effect?
During the forenoon of the 23d each little incident cut me to the quick.
It was so naïve, so useless. The poor darling thought she was outwitting
me. As if she was stealing it she stowed away her jewelry, and when she
could no longer hide the suit-case she murmured something about articles
to be cleaned at the village cleaner's. I took this with a feeble joke
as to the need of economy, and when she thought she would carry down the
things herself I commended the impulse toward exercise. I knew she
wouldn't drive, because she didn't want a witness to her acts. As far as
I could guess the hour at which Pluto would carry off Proserpine, it
would be at five o'clock.
And indeed about half past three I observed unusual signs of agitation.
Her door was kept closed, and from behind it came sounds of a final
opening and closing of cupboards and drawers, after which she emerged,
wearing a dark-blue walking-suit and a hat of the _canotière_ style,
with a white quill feather at one side. I still made no comment, not
even when the wan, wee, touching figure was ready to set forth.
If her first steps were artless the last was more artless still. Instead
of going off casually, with an implied intention to come back, she took
leave of me with tears and protestations of affection. She had been
harsh with me, she confessed, and seemingly indifferent to my tender
care, but one day she might have a chance to show me how genuine was her
gratitude. In this, too, I saw no more than the commonplace, and a
little after four she tripped down the avenue, looking, with her
suit-case, like a school-girl.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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