Governesses -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
Her manner had the gentle command that queens and princesses and very
rich women unconsciously acquire. I tried to obey her, but found little
to say. Uttered to her my facts were so meager. I told her of my father
and mother, of my father's mania for old books, of Louise and Victoria
and their husbands, of my visits abroad; but I felt her attention
wandering. That is, I felt she was interested not in my data, but in me.
Halifax and Canada and British army and navy life and rare first
editions were outside the range of her ken. Paris she knew; and London
she knew; but not from any point of view from which I could speak of
them. I could see she was the well-placed American who knows some of the
great English houses and all of the great English hotels, but nothing of
that Britannic backbone of which I might have been called a rib. She
broke in presently, not apropos of anything I was saying, with the
words:
"How old are you?"
I told her I was twenty-four.
"I'm twenty-nine."
I said I had understood as much from Mrs. Rossiter, but that I could
easily have supposed her no older than myself. This was true. Had there
not been that something mournful in her face which simulates maturity I
could have thought of her as nothing but a girl. If I stood in awe of
her it was only of what I guessed at as a sorrow.
She went on to give me two or three details of her life, with nearly all
of which I was familiar through hints from Hugh and Ethel Rossiter.
"We're really Philadelphians, my mother and I. We've lived a good deal
in New York, of course, and abroad. I was at school in Paris, too, at
the Convent des Abeilles." She wandered on, somewhat inconsequentially,
with facts of this sort, when she added, suddenly: "I was to have
married some one else."
I knew then that I had the clue to her thought. The marriage she had
missed was on her mind. It created an obsession or a broken heart, I
wasn't quite sure which. It was what she wanted to talk about, though
her glance fell before the spark of intelligence in mine.
[Illustration: THE MARRIAGE SHE HAD MISSED WAS ON HER MIND. IT CREATED
AN OBSESSION OR A BROKEN HEART, I WASN'T QUITE SURE WHICH]
Since there was nothing I could say in actual words, I merely murmured
sympathetically. At the same time there came to me, like the slow
breaking of a dawn, an illuminating glimpse of the great J. Howard's
life. I seemed to be admitted into its secret, into a perception of its
weak spot, more fully than his wife had any notion of. She would never,
I was sure, see what she was betraying to me from my point of view. She
would never see how she was giving him away. She wouldn't even see how
she was giving away herself--she was so sweet, and gentle, and
child-like, and unsuspecting.
I don't know for how many seconds her quiet, inconsequential speech
trickled on without my being able to follow it. I came to myself again,
as it were, on hearing her say:
"And if you do love him, oh, don't give him up!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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