Governesses -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
I was adjusting a slight fullness at the back, which made it the easier
for me to answer.
"I wouldn't if he didn't talk like that to me. What can I do? I have to
say something."
She was peering into the cheval glass over her shoulder, giving her
attention to two things at once.
"I mean your saying you expected both of those preposterous things to
happen. Of course, you don't--nor either of them--and it only rubs him
up the wrong way."
I was too meek now to argue the point. Besides, I was preoccupied with
the widening interests in which I found myself involved. To probe the
security of my position once more, I said:
"I wonder you stand it--that you don't send me away."
She was still twisting in front of the cheval glass.
"Don't you think that shoulder-strap is loose? It really looks as if the
whole thing would slip off me. If he can stand it I can," she added, as
a matter of secondary concern.
"Oh, then he can stand it." I felt the shoulder-strap. "No, I think it's
all right, if you don't wriggle too much."
"I'm sure it's going to come down--and there I shall be. He has to stand
it, don't you see, or let you think that you wound him?"
I was frankly curious.
"Do I wound him?"
"He'd never let you know it if you did. The fact that he ignores you and
lets you stay on with me is the only thing by which I can judge. If you
didn't hurt him at all he'd tell me to send you about your business."
She turned from the glass. "Well, if you say that strap is all right I
suppose it must be, but I don't feel any too sure." She was picking up
her gloves and her fan which the maid had laid out, when she said,
suddenly: "If you're so keen on getting married, for goodness' sake why
don't you take that young Strangways?"
My sensation can only be compared to that of a person who has got a
terrific blow on the head from a trip-hammer. I seemed to wonder why I
hadn't been crushed or struck dead. As it was, I felt that I could never
move again from the spot on which I stood. I was vaguely conscious of
something outraged within me and yet was too stunned to resent it. I
could only gasp, feebly, after what seemed an interminable time: "In the
first place, I'm not so awfully keen on getting married--"
She was examining her gloves.
"There, that stupid Séraphine has put me out two lefts. No, she hasn't;
it's all right. Stuff, my dear! Every girl is keen on getting married."
"And then," I stammered on, "Mr. Strangways has never given me the
chance."
"Oh, well, he will. Do hand me my wrap, like a love." I was putting the
wrap over her shoulders as she repeated: "Oh, well, he will. I can tell
by the way he looks at you. It would be ever so much more suitable. Jim
says he'll be a first-class man in time--if you don't rush in like an
idiot and marry Hugh."
"I may marry Hugh," I tried to say, loftily, "but I hope I sha'n't do it
like an idiot."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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