remembered that old Major Pendennis, society personified, did not
exactly boast of his nephew’s occupation. Even Warrington was rather
ashamed to own his connection with journalism, and Pendennis himself
laughed openly at his novel-writing as an agreeable way of making
money, a useful appendage to the cultivation of dukes, his true
business in life. This was the plain English view, and Mr. Taylor was
no doubt right enough in thinking it good, practical common sense.
Therefore when he saw Lucian loitering and sauntering, musing amorously
over his manuscript, exhibiting manifest signs of that fine fury which
Britons have ever found absurd, he felt grieved at heart, and more than
ever sorry that he had not been able to send the boy to Oxford.
“B.N.C. would have knocked all this nonsense out of him,” he thought.
“He would have taken a double First like my poor father and made
something of a figure in the world. However, it can’t be helped.” The
poor man sighed, and lit his pipe, and walked in another part of the
garden.
But he was mistaken in his diagnosis of the symptoms. The book that
Lucian had begun lay unheeded in the drawer; it was a secret work that
he was engaged on, and the manuscripts that he took out of that inner
pocket never left him day or night. He slept with them next to his
heart, and he would kiss them when he was quite alone, and pay them
such devotion as he would have paid to her whom they symbolized. He
wrote on these leaves a wonderful ritual of praise and devotion; it was
the liturgy of his religion. Again and again he copied and recopied
this madness of a lover; dallying all days over the choice of a word,
searching for more exquisite phrases. No common words, no such phrases
as he might use in a tale would suffice; the sentences of worship must
stir and be quickened, they must glow and burn, and be decked out as
with rare work of jewelry. Every part of that holy and beautiful body
must be adored; he sought for terms of extravagant praise, he bent his
soul and mind low before her, licking the dust under her feet, abased
and yet rejoicing as a Templar before the image of Baphomet. He exulted
more especially in the knowledge that there was nothing of the
conventional or common in his ecstasy; he was not the fervent, adoring
lover of Tennyson’s poems, who loves with passion and yet with a proud
respect, with the love always of a gentleman for a lady. Annie was not
a lady; the Morgans had farmed their land for hundreds of years; they
were what Miss Gervase and Miss Colley and the rest of them called
common people. Tennyson’s noble gentlemen thought of their ladies with
something of reticence: they imagined them dressed in flowing and
courtly robes, walking with slow dignity; they dreamed of them as
always stately, the future mistresses of their houses, mothers of their
heirs. Such lovers bowed, but not too low, remembering their own honor,
before those who were to be equal companions and friends as well as
wives.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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