Husband and wife -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
But Augusta well knew that this presentiment, which came treacherously
stealing upon her in the dreaming moments when her spirit was wandering
alone and unguarded in that border land where dreams and good stories
come from, was not warning her against any material happening.
With a prescience as cruel as eye-sight could have been, she knew that
this thing would strike at her heart. And, her heart could only be hurt
through Jimmie.
Long ago she had foreseen and trembled at this day when love would make
a coward of her. And although many times in the year past she had been
able to believe that Jimmie loved her truly, the way a man chooses
his girl and wants her, and not from any prompting of duty or mere
affection, yet the fact remained, unescapable and unanswerable: _they
had not started fair_.
She had taken Jimmie at his word, when pity, and probably affection,
and a pretty childish attractiveness, had prompted him to ask her to
marry him. But, even then, she had known that it was not fair, for,
even then, though neither of them would have believed this, she had
been a woman while he was an impulsive boy.
It was true that even in that time she had loved him with a love which
he would not have believed her capable of even guessing at. But that
made no difference. Jimmie had not been free. Nothing that had since
passed had altered that fact. And Augusta had cruelly whipped herself
into believing, that even if Jimmie had not cared for her in any way,
his quick heart and his kindness for her mother and herself would have
made him do just what he had done in the circumstances. (She was able
to believe this because she knew that she herself, at that time, would
have married the most repulsive man in the world if it had been a
necessary condition for getting her mother out of the madhouse.)
All this had lain away covered in her mind through the months of
happiness and well being and hopeful, heart-filling work. But it was
inevitable, as she had always known, that it would one day come forth
and stalk upon her.
The outward signs that the peace of her mind and the safety of her love
were being threatened were indeed very slight. Jimmie was restless.
Something was troubling him, that much she knew. Once or twice she
had felt that he was on the point of speaking out, but the moment had
passed and had left her with the dizzy, sinking feeling of a threat
suspended.
Sometimes she was able to lull the feeling of foreboding evil by the
thought that it was merely the Spring. Everything about them was
restless and stirring and shooting forth buds and blades, and all the
little rivers of life were running full. It was only to be expected
that they themselves, coming out of the close, storm bound life of the
Winter, should feel a stirring of unrest, an urge of discontent and
energy, towards something new.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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