Husband and wife -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
When they came, however, to putting Augusta's plans into actual
operation Jimmie had his misgivings. He knew himself. And he knew
that, with all of his ready tongue and his genial effrontery in
talking himself into and out of a situation, he was at bottom shy and
diffident. He had never been able to do good, sincere work with anybody
watching him. He had always loved to hug and hide his work until it
was actually in print. He had never in his life been guilty of reading
or even showing a manuscript to a friend. And he was shy now, even of
Augusta's quick sympathy and understanding.
What was worse, he found that his mind was sluggish and lazy. After the
months, in which he had thought only of rest and sleep and the feeding
of his body, he found it almost impossible to spur his mind up to the
point of nervous tension where he could create with any sequence. The
fires of his brain were banked and choked with the accumulations which
the greedy body was piling up for itself. He felt stupid, and yet he
found that he could not even get irritated with himself over the fact.
To please Augusta, he kept on trying, for he knew how she must have set
her heart on this plan of hers and he would have given everything that
was in him to make it a success. Never in his life had he tried so
hard and so consciously to write good lines. But the good lines would
not come, even though he sat for hours dictating painfully and slowly
while Augusta wrote. He knew that the work was not good, but he would
say nothing, secretly hoping that she would soon tire of the drudgery
and let him get at the machine, as he was now hungry to do, in his own
way.
Augusta did not tire. But in the end she pronounced fatal judgment. One
day in the middle of a long paragraph she dropped her hands from the
keyboard and looked Jimmie squarely in the eye.
"Nothing but the truth, Jimmie," she demanded, "do I get in your way?
This is not your good work."
"Had you noticed?" said Jimmie dryly.
"It is not bad," Augusta explained, springing loyally to the defence of
anything that Jimmie had done. "For anybody else it would be perfectly
all right. But it isn't just you, Jimmie. It's not just alive, you see.
It's--It's--"
"Wooden," said Jimmie shortly and without stress.
Much as she hated to, Augusta let the criticism stand. She threw the
cover over the machine without a word. That was the end of a dream
which Augusta had been hugging to her heart for months. Now Augusta,
as we know, was a high hearted, high handed little lady, and she
always knew that her way was right. Remembering this, we may arrive at
some idea of what it cost her to drop, without a whimper, even as she
dropped the cover over the machine, her dearest, deepest laid little
plan, and to say blithely:
"Come on for a run around the lake! Tomorrow you can have a pad and
pencil and sit on the back of your neck with your feet up in the window
and scribble your own way."
Wardwell knew the cost of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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