Whatever else might have been included in the marriage customs in China, the wedding-feast was the main feature of the occasion. This might occur upon the wedding-day or at some later time. Wedding and funeral feasts would be quite impossible were it not for the "share" system which they have worked out. Each guest, or each family, were not only expected but really required by a rigid code of social etiquette to contribute to the expense of the occasion. This was sometimes in food but usually in money and there was a scale according to which every one knew what his "share" should be. "One of the most characteristic methods in which the Chinese lack of sympathy is manifested is in the treatment which brides receive on their wedding-day. They are often very young, are always timid, and are naturally terror-stricken at being suddenly thrust among strangers. Customs vary widely, but there seems to be a general indifference to the feelings of the poor child thus exposed to the public gaze. In some places it is allowable for any one who chooses to turn back the curtains of the chair and stare at her. In other regions, the unmarried girls find it a source of keen enjoyment to post themselves at a convenient position as the bride passes, to throw upon her handfuls of hay-seed or chaff, which will obstinately adhere to her carefully oiled hair for a long time. Upon her emerging from the chair at the house of her new parents, she is subjected to the same kind of criticism as a newly bought horse, with what feelings on her part it is not difficult to imagine."[78] =Infancy.= "A Chinese baby is a round-faced little helpless human animal, whose eyes look like two black marbles over which the skin had been stretched, and a slit made on the bias. His nose is a little kopje in the center of his face, above a yawning chasm which requires constant filling to insure the preservation of law and order. On his shaved head are left small tufts of hair in various localities, which give him the appearance of the plain about Peking, on which the traveler sees, here and there, a small clump of trees around a country village, a home, or a cemetery; the remainder of the country being bare. These tufts are usually on the 'soft spot,' in the back of his neck, over his ears or in a braid or a ring on the side of his head."[79] It was considered a deep disgrace if the children of a Chinese mother were not all born at the father's home, and in their efforts to have such occur women would do everything possible, even going to great inconvenience and hardship. If this should be the first baby and a boy, there would be great rejoicing in the whole household, but if a girl there would not only be no rejoicing but along with depression the young wife would be treated with coldness and often with harshness, and she might be beaten for her lack of discretion in not producing a son.