The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
"Mr. Gerald O'Grady, who stands at the head of the bar at the Tombs,
and who, under adverse circumstances and strong competition, has been
enabled, by his talents, to keep up his tariff of fees, from which he
has never deviated, appeared as counsel for the prisoners. Mr. O'Grady
has never been known to defend a case for less than fifty cents, unless,
actuated by feelings of commendable philanthropy, he has volunteered his
professional services gratis. It may be reasonably supposed that his
success has excited the envy of the 'shysters;' for while they have to
sit oftentimes a whole morning beside their respective granite columns
at the Tombs, without being called upon to defend a case, Mr. O'Grady's
presence in the court-room is in frequent demand. Mr. O'Grady had been
retained in this case, I learned, by seven of the defendants, at a
certain specified fee for each man, he volunteering his professional
services to the ladies without charge. He announced to the Court that he
represented the defendants, and that they were ready to have the trial
commence.
"'Is Mr. O'Grady your counsel?' the Judge inquired of the defendants.
"'Yes, yer honor,' said one of the parties addressed; 'didn't I pay him
five shillings--divil a hap'ny less--for to defind me.'
"'Five shillings?' said Mr. O'Grady, indignantly, 'you mane that as a
retainer, of coorse.'
"_Defendant._--I mane that's all ye'll get, anny how----
"_Counsel_ (loudly).--Say, sir, it is time for you to know that, as a
client, you should addhress the Coort only through your counsel. (To the
Court.) Sir, my clients here, paceable citizens, stand ready for to
answer, through me, to the diabolical chairges which designin' min have
brought against thim, feelin' within their breasts----(Here Mr. O'Grady
hit one of his clients a severe blow in his bread-basket).
"_Assaulted Client._--Oh! h-h--.
"_Counsel_ (to client).--Keep your mouth shut, why don't you? (To the
Court.) Feelin', as I said before, widthin their breasts, the proud
consciousness of their entire innocence of anny charges which their
accusers could dare for to bring against thim.
"The witnesses were Sergeant Ferrett and Officers Snap, Catcher,
O'Grasp, Ketchum, Holder, and Van Knabem.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account