The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
a karvern teeper, as he wanted to take a drink of bed, and then go to
sleep on a blass of grandy. I told him I was, and would see him put to
bed all right. On asking him his name, I learned that he was Deacon
Josiah Pettingill, of St. Lawrence county. We got to the hotel, and I
informed the clerk that the gentleman was a country friend of mine, whom
I wanted stowed away for the night, and for whom I would call in the
morning. I accompanied him to the room, assisted in removing his
garments, and, after putting him between the sheets, I left the
premises. This morning I called on him at his room, and found him still
asleep. I proceeded to awaken him. It occupied some minutes to explain
to him the true condition of affairs. At last, the whole of the
occurrences of the previous evening seemed to come to his recollection.
"He inquired his condition when I found him. I told him that he was at
that time considerably drunk, and disposed to be somewhat noisy.
"'Well, squire,' said he, 'I shouldn't be surprised if it was so; the
fact is, my head aches at this minute as if it was ready to bust, and it
feels jest as it did once in my lifetime, a good while ago, when I took
too much egg nogg; that was full twenty-five year ago; for awhile, I
felt as if I was ridin' to Heaven over glairy ice down a high hill, on a
bob-sled with its runners greased. But I never got there; I know one
thing sartain--a few hours afterward I felt as if the bob-sled had run
agin a stump, when almost tu the bottom of the hill, and the concussion
had landed me intu a cauldron-kettle full of fever and ager and
blacksmiths' hammers, mixed together in equal parts; it wasn't funny,
squire; I went right off and jined the church, and hain't been blue
since, unless I wos last night.'
"I asked Mr. Pettingill to give me a history of his experience in the
city. He complied, and stated the facts as follows:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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