The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
"The sympathies of the bystanders seemed to be decidedly in favor of the
boys, who were so violent in their resistance that the man could hold
them only with great difficulty. Once they tripped him, and then all
three fell over a barrel of turnips, upsetting a barrel-cover containing
apples; but the man was enabled to continue his hold on the boys. At
last, when one of them, by tangling his leg around the man, upset him
into a tub of pickles, the man called out, in a shrill voice, 'Vatch!
vatch!' All this transpired amid the shouts of the lookers-on. 'Go in,
blinky,' said one. 'Keep a going, sour krout,' said another; and various
were the remarks of this character which were heard. But, as usual, the
police were not at hand, and the sequel proved that their absence was
rather to be desired than otherwise. Notwithstanding the fact that the
sympathies of the crowd were apparently in favor of the boys, yet the
general feeling seemed to be that the merits of the case should be
understood, and when the boys made an effort to escape, they were
prevented; and when the vanquished German had extricated himself from
the pickle-tub, one of the persons asked what the boys had done.
"'Do,' said the grocery-keeper, 'dey do so much as to sends dem to de
States brison. Dey is de vorst poys as runs in de shtreets. De oder
night dey comes here to mine shtore-crocery a koople of times, and ven I
vas not see dem, dey ketch my cats by de dails, and dies vire-crackers
to de cat's dail, on de shtep-valk, and den sets vire to de crackers,
and trows de cats down. Den de cats she runs like de tuyvel into de
shtore so much scare. She yump all around on de counters, over into de
barrels, breaks into bieces some new bottles vat I buy yust, sets vire
to some paper vat vas lay on de counters, tumbles over ebery dings vat
vas in de vay, and gets all shplitter shplatter mixed up togedder. I
find some shweet oil bottles shpill in de box fon green dea; she knock
down fom de shelf a big match-box, vich hold a gross fon matches, and
dey go off and shmell so vorse mit primstone as if de tuyvel had moved
into mine shtore-crocery, and I can't tell you so much damage as it do;
and ven I look for de cats, I find her about an hour rolled up in a
pasket fon green beas, mit all de hair scorch off de pehind side fon
her. Dis vas on Saturday night vill be two veeks.'
"'Why didn't you catch them then?' asked one of the party.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account