The History and Records of the Elephant ClubDoesticks, Q. K. Philander
General
The History and Records of the Elephant Club
Doesticks, Q. K. Philander
American wit and humor
"I forgot that," resumed Dropper. "I learned from an advertisement which
appeared in the daily journals, that ticket number 6281 drew the farm.
This number, you will observe, corresponds with the one I supposed would
be the lucky one, except that in mine a nought was annexed to the four
figures, making it 62810, instead of 6281. My mistake grew out of a
misinterpretation of my dream, in respect to the bob-tailed cat, I
having assumed that the diminutive nether extremity, in this instance,
was equivalent to a nought expressed, whereas, if I had let it remain a
nought understood, and had acted accordingly, I should have been the
lucky man."
"Not so lucky as you imagine," remarked Quackenbush, "for the facts of
that matter I am somewhat familiar with. A country fiddler, living up in
Connecticut, held the ticket which entitled the holder to the real
estate aforesaid. He saw the advertisement, and I being the only
acquaintance he had in the city, he wrote to me to secure the deeds, as
he couldn't raise the money to come down. I called at the office of the
managers of the enterprise, and presented the ticket. They said it was
all right; congratulated me on the luck of my friend, and told me to
call a week from that time, and they would be prepared to execute the
deed. This I thought was very fair, and I left the office. On the
appointed day I called, and found the office closed, as the managers
had sloped."
The conversation then turned upon Police Courts, and the facilities
which they afforded in aiding a person to get glimpses of the elephant.
It was conceded that the experience of Dropper, just related, opened
very fair, and, on the suggestion of Mr. Quackenbush, it was resolved:
1. That the members of the club do make it their business
2. To visit the Police Courts
3. Before the next meeting of the club.
The meeting was adjourned by the club, singing, "We're all jolly good
fellows."
THE POLICE COURTS.
"I do remember Ann--"
A. POTHECARIE.
[Illustration]
SEVERAL evenings passed before all the members of the club again
assembled. In the meantime the quantity of manuscripts had become
unusually large, the members having found that the Police Courts were
prolific in sights of the colossal quadruped. When they did meet it was
whispered that one of the members had had some personal experience, not
only as a spectator but as a prisoner. No questions, however, were
propounded upon the subject, in a tone loud enough for the member in
question to hear, as they desired to allow him to speak of the matter
voluntarily, confess his fault, and receive the forgiveness of his
fellows.
The proceedings of the evening were opened by the Higholdboy, who took
his official seat, announced that the special order of the meeting was
to hear the reports of members who had been present at the sessions of
the Police Courts, with the view of noting down their zoölogical
features.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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