'All the better for him,' said David, unmoved. 'It don't make any
difference to me. No, Miss Dora, don't you fret yourself about me.
Books are my priests.'
He stood over her, his hands on his sides, smiling.
'Oh, no!' cried Dora, involuntarily. 'You mustn't say that. Books
can't bring us to God.'
'No more can priests,' he said, with a sudden flash of his dark
eyes, a sudden dryness of his tone. 'If there is a God to bring us
to--prove me that first, Miss Dora. But it's a shame to say these
things to you--that it is--and I've been worrying you a deal too
much about my stupid affairs. Good night. We'll talk about Father
Russell again another time.'
He ran downstairs. Dora went back to her frame, then pushed it away
again, ran eagerly to the window, and pulled the blind aside. Down
below in the lighted street, now emptying fast, she saw the tall
figure emerge, saw it run down the street, and across St. Mary's
Gate. She watched it till it disappeared; then she put her hands
over her face, and leant against the window-frame weeping. Oh, what
a sudden descent from a moment of pure joy! How had the jarring
note come? They had been put wrong with each other; and perhaps,
after all, he would be no more to her now than before. And she had
seemed to make such a leap forward--to come so near to him.
'Oh! I'll just be good to his sister,' she said to herself
drearily, with an ache at her heart that was agony.
Then she thought of him as he had sat there beside her; and
suddenly in her pure thought there rose a vision of herself in his
arms, her head against his broad shoulder, her hand stealing round
his neck. She moved from the window and threw herself down in the
darkest corner of the room, wrestling desperately with what seemed
to her a sinful imagination. She ought not to think of him at all;
she loathed herself. Father Russell would tell her she was wicked.
He had no faith--he was a hardened unbeliever--and she could not
make herself think of that at all--could not stop herself from
wanting--_wanting_ him for her own, whatever happened.
And it was so foolish too, as well as bad; for he hadn't an idea of
falling in love with anybody--anyone could see that. And she who
was not pretty, and not a bit clever--it was so likely he would
take a fancy to her! Why, in a few years he would be a big man, he
would have made a fortune, and then he could take his pick.
'Oh! and Lucy--Lucy would _hate_ me.'
But the thought of Lucy, instead of checking her, brought with it
again a wild gust of jealousy. It was fiercer than before, the
craving behind it stronger. She sat up, forcing back her tears, her
whole frame tense and rigid. Whatever happened he would
_never_ marry Lucy! And who could wish it? Lucy was just a
little, vain, selfish thing, and when she found David Grieve
wouldn't have her, she would soon forget him. The surging longing
within refused, proudly refused, to curb itself--for Lucy's sake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account