Blind to true joy, ever engaged in a wild pursuit of what is always in our power, anxious for that wealth which we falsely imagine necessary to our enjoyments, we suffer our best hours to pass tastelessly away; we neglect the pleasures which are suited to our natures; and, intent on ideal schemes of establishments at which we never arrive, let the dear hours of social delight escape us. Hasten to us, my dear Fitzgerald: we want only you, to fill our little circle of friends. Your affectionate Ed. Rivers. LETTER 195. To Captain Fitzgerald. Bellfield, Oct. 3. What delight is there in obliging those we love! My heart dilated with joy at seeing Emily pleased with the little embellishments of her apartment, which I had made as gay and smiling as the morn; it looked, indeed, as if the hand of love had adorned it: she has a dressing room and closet of books, into which I shall never intrude: there is a pleasure in having some place which we can say is peculiarly our own, some _sanctum sanctorum_, whither we can retire even from those most dear to us. This is a pleasure in which I have been indulged almost from infancy, and therefore one of the first I thought of procuring for my sweet Emily. I told her I should, however, sometimes expect to be amongst her guests in this little retirement. Her look, her tender smile, the speaking glance of grateful love, gave me a transport, which only minds turned to affection can conceive. I never, my dear Fitzgerald, was happy before: the attachment I once mentioned was pleasing; but I felt a regret, at knowing the object of my tenderness had forfeited the good opinion of the world, which embittered all my happiness. She possessed my esteem, because I knew her heart; but I wanted to see her esteemed by others. With Emily I enjoy this pleasure in its utmost extent: she is the adoration of all who see her; she is equally admired, esteemed, respected. She seems to value the admiration she excites, only as it appears to gratify the pride of her lover; what transport, when all eyes are fixed on her, to see her searching around for mine, and attentive to no other object, as if insensible to all other approbation! I enjoy the pleasures of friendship as well as those of love: were you here, my dear Fitzgerald, we should be the happiest groupe on the globe; but all Bell's sprightliness cannot preserve her from an air of chagrin in your absence. Come as soon as possible, my dear friend, and leave us nothing to wish for. Adieu! Your affectionate Ed. Rivers. LETTER 196. To Colonel Rivers, Bellfield, Rutland. London, Oct. 8. You are very cruel, my dear Rivers, to tantalize me with your pictures of happiness. Notwithstanding this spite, I am sorry I must break in on your groupe of friends; but it is absolutely necessary for Bell and my father to return immediately to town, in order to settle some family business, previous to my purchase of the majority.