My sensations on this occasion are not to be described: I admire
that amiable delicacy which has influenced her to give up every
advantage of rank and fortune which could tempt the heart of woman,
rather than unite herself to a man for whom she felt the least degree
of indifference; and this, without regarding the censures of her
family, or of the world, by whom, what they will call her imprudence,
will never be forgiven: a woman who is capable of acting so nobly, is
worthy of being beloved, of being adored, by every man who has a soul
to distinguish her perfections.
If I was a vain man, I might perhaps fancy her regard for me had
some share in determining her conduct, but I am convinced of the
contrary; 'tis the native delicacy of her soul alone, incapable of
forming an union in which the heart has no share, which, independent of
any other consideration, has been the cause of a resolution so worthy
of herself.
That she has the tenderest affection for me, I cannot doubt one
moment; her attention is too flattering to be unobserved; but 'tis that
kind of affection in which the mind alone is concerned. I never gave
her the most distant hint that I loved her: in her situation, it would
have been even an outrage to have done so. She knows the narrowness of
my circumstances, and how near impossible it is for me to marry; she
therefore could not have an idea--no, my dear girl, 'tis not to love,
but to true delicacy, that she has sacrificed avarice and ambition; and
she is a thousand times the more estimable from this circumstance.
I am interrupted. You shall hear from me in a few days.
Adieu!
Your affectionate
Ed. Rivers.
LETTER 65.
To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street.
Silleri, Feb. 10.
I have mentioned my plan to Emily, who is charmed with it; 'tis a
pretty evening amusement for two solitary girls in the country.
Behold the first fruits of our correspondence:
"To Miss Fermor.
"It is not to you, my dear girl, I need vindicate my conduct in
regard to Sir George; you have from the first approved it; you have
even advised it. If I have been to blame, 'tis in having too long
delayed an explanation on a point of such importance to us both. I
have been long on the borders of a precipice, without courage to retire
from so dangerous a situation: overborn by my family, I have been near
marrying a man for whom I have not the least tenderness, and whose
conversation is even now tedious to me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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