"The weak, the fond, the fool, the coward woman" has prevailed over all her resolution: her love is only the more violent for having been a moment restrained; she is not equal to the task she has undertaken; her resentment was concealed tenderness, and has retaken its first form. I am sorry to find there is not one wise woman in the world but myself. Past ten. I have been with her again: she seemed a little calmer; I commended her spirit; she disavowed it; was peevish with me, angry with herself; said she had acted in a manner unworthy her character; accused herself of caprice, artifice, and cruelty; said she ought to have seen him, if not alone, yet with me only: that it was natural he should be surprized at a reception so inconsistent with true friendship, and therefore that he should wish an explanation; that _her_ Rivers (and why not Madame Des Roches's Rivers?) was incapable of acting otherwise than as became the best and most tender of mankind, and that therefore she ought not to have suffered a whisper injurious to his honor: that I had meant well, but had, by depriving her of Rivers's friendship, which she had lost by her haughty behaviour, destroyed all the happiness of her life. To be sure, your poor Bell is always to blame: but if ever I intermeddle between lovers again, Lucy-- I am sure she was ten times more angry with him than I was, but this it is to be too warm in the interest of our friends. Adieu! till to-morrow. Yours, A. Fermor. I can only say, that if Fitzgerald had visited a handsome rich French widow, and staid with her ten days _tete a tete_ in the country, without my permission-- O Heavens! here is _mon cher pere_: I must hide my letter. _Bon soir. _ LETTER 89. To Miss Rivers, Clarges Street. Quebec, March 6. I cannot account, my dear, for what has happened to me. I left Madame Des Roches's full of the warm impatience of love, and flew to my Emily at Silleri: I was received with a disdainful coldness which I did not think had been in her nature, and which has shocked me beyond all expression. I went again to-day, and met with the same reception; I even saw my presence was painful to her, therefore shortened my visit, and, if I have resolution to persevere, will not go again till invited by Captain Fermor in form. I could bear any thing but to lose her affection; my whole heart was set upon her: I had every reason to believe myself dear to her. Can caprice find a place in that bosom which is the abode of every virtue? I must have been misrepresented to her, or surely this could not have happened: I will wait to-morrow, and if I hear nothing will write to her, and ask an explanation by letter; she refused me a verbal one to-day, though I begged to speak with her only for a moment. Tuesday. I have been asked on a little riding party, and, as I cannot go to Silleri, have accepted it: it will amuse my present anxiety.