Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1702-1714 -- Humor; Political satire, English
John had, by some good instructions given him by Sir Roger, got the
better of his choleric temper, and wrought himself up to a great
steadiness of mind to pursue his own interest through all impediments
that were thrown in the way. He began to leave off some of his old
acquaintance, his roaring and bullying about the streets. He put on
a serious air, knit his brows, and, for the time, had made a very
considerable progress in politics, considering that he had been kept a
stranger to his own affairs. However, he could not help discovering
some remains of his nature when he happened to meet with a football or a
match at cricket, for which Sir Roger was sure to take him to task.
John was walking about his room with folded arms and a most thoughtful
countenance. His servant brought him word that one Lewis Baboon below
wanted to speak with him. John had got an impression that Lewis was so
deadly cunning a man that he was afraid to venture himself alone with
him. At last he took heart of grace. "Let him come up," quoth he; "it is
but sticking to my point, and he can never over-reach me."
LEWIS BABOON.--Monsieur Bull, I will frankly acknowledge that my
behaviour to my neighbours has been somewhat uncivil, and I believe you
will readily grant me that I have met with usage accordingly. I was fond
of back-sword and cudgel-play from my youth, and I now bear in my
body many a black and blue gash and scar, God knows. I had as good a
warehouse and as fair possessions as any of my neighbours, though I say
it. But a contentious temper, flattering servants, and unfortunate stars
have brought me into circumstances that are not unknown to you. These
my misfortunes are heightened by domestic calamities. That I need not
relate. I am a poor old battered fellow, and I would willingly end my
days in peace. But, alas! I see but small hopes of that, for every new
circumstance affords an argument to my enemies to pursue their revenge.
Formerly I was to be banged because I was too strong, and now because
I am too weak to resist; I am to be brought down when too rich, and
oppressed when too poor. Nic. Frog has used me like a scoundrel. You are
a gentleman, and I freely put myself in your hands to dispose of me as
you think fit.
JOHN BULL.--Look you, Master Baboon, as to your usage of your
neighbours, you had best not dwell too much upon that chapter. Let it
suffice at present that you have been met with. You have been rolling a
great stone up-hill all your life, and at last it has come tumbling down
till it is like to crush you to pieces. Plain-dealing is best. If you
have any particular mark, Mr. Baboon, whereby one may know when you fib
and when you speak truth, you had best tell it me, that one may proceed
accordingly. But since at present I know of none such, it is better that
you should trust me than that I should trust you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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