English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
He began by dropping (in sporting parlance) a cool thousand on the
Jack Joel Selling Plate at Newmarket. On the next race he dropped a
cool five hundred, and later on in the afternoon a cool seventy-
five pounds ten. The following day found him at Lingfield, where he
dropped a cool monkey (to persevere with the language of the racing
stable) on the Solly Joel Cup, picked it up on the next race,
dropped a cool pony, dropped another cool monkey, dropped a cool
wallaby, picked up a cool hippopotamus, and finally, in the last
race of the day, dropped a couple of lukewarm ferrets. In short, he
was (as they say at Tattersall's Corner) entirely cleaned out.
When a younger son is cleaned out there is only one thing for him to
do. Roger St Verax knew instinctively what it was. He bought a new
silk hat and a short black coat, and went into the City.
What a wonderful place, dear reader, is the City! You, madam, who
read this in your daintily upholstered boudoir, can know but little
of the great heart of the City, even though you have driven through
its arteries on your way to Liverpool Street Station, and have noted
the bare and smoothly brushed polls of the younger natives. You,
sir, in your country vicarage, are no less innocent, even though on
sultry afternoons you have covered your head with the Financial
Supplement of The Times in mistake for the Literary Supplement, and
have thus had thrust upon you the stirring news that Bango-Bangos
were going up. And I, dear friends, am equally ignorant of the
secrets of the Stock Exchange. I know that its members frequently
walk to Brighton, and still more frequently stay there; that while
finding a home for all the good stories which have been going the
rounds for years, they sometimes invent entirely new ones for
themselves about the Chancellor of the Exchequer; and that they sing
the National Anthem very sternly in unison when occasion demands it.
But there must be something more in it than this, or why are
Bango-Bangos still going up?
I don't know. And I am sorry to say that even Roger St Verax, a
Director of the Bango-Bango Development Company, is not very clear
about it all.
It was as a Director of the Bango-Bango Exploration Company that he
took up his life in the City. As its name implies, the Company was
originally formed to explore Bango-Bango, an impenetrable district
in North Australia; but when it came to the point it was found much
more profitable to explore Hampstead, Clapham Common, Blackheath,
Ealing and other rich and fashionable suburbs. A number of hopeful
ladies and gentlemen having been located in these parts, the Company
went ahead rapidly, and in 1907 a new prospector was sent out to
replace the one who was assumed to have been eaten.
In 1908, Roger first heard the magic word "reconstruction," and to
his surprise found himself in possession of twenty thousand pounds
and a Directorship of the new Bango-Bango Mining Company.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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