English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
(B) There are lots of grown-up people who think that "write" is
spelt "rite." Margery knows that this is not so. She knows that
there is a silent letter in front of the "r," which doesn't do
anything but likes to be there. Obviously, if nobody is going to
take any notice of this extra letter, it doesn't much matter what it
is. Margery happened to want to make a "k" just then; at a pinch it
could be as silent as a "w." You will please, therefore, regard the
"k" in "krite" as absolutely noiseless.
(C) Both Margery and Bernard Shaw prefer to leave out the apostrophe
in writing such words as "isn't" and "don't."
(D) Years ago I claimed the privilege to monopolise, on the
occasional evenings when I was there, Margery's last ten minutes
before she goes back to some heaven of her own each night. This
privilege was granted; it being felt, no doubt, that she owed me
some compensation for my early secretarial work on her behalf. We
used to spend the ten minutes in listening to my telling a fairy
story, always the same one. One day the authorities stepped in and
announced that in future the ten minutes would be reduced to five.
The procedure seemed to me absolutely illegal (and I should like to
bring a test action against somebody), but it certainly did put the
lid on my fairy story, of which I was getting more than a little
tired.
"Tell me about Beauty and the Beast," said Margery as usual that
evening.
"There's not time," I said. "We've only five minutes to-night."
"Oh! Then tell me all the work you've done to-day."
(A little unkind, you'll agree, but you know what relations are.)
And so now I have to cram the record of my day's work into five
breathless minutes. You will understand what bare justice I can do
to it in the time.
I am sorry that these footnotes have grown so big; let us leave them
and return to the letter. There are many ways of answering such a
letter. One might say, "MY DEAR MARGERY,--It was jolly to get a real
letter from you at last--" but the "at last" would seem rather
tactless considering what had passed years before. Or one might say,
"MY DEAR MARGERY,--Thank you for your jolly letter. I am so sorry
about baby's knee and so glad about your toys. Perhaps if you gave
one of the toys to baby, then her knee--" But I feel sure that
Margery would expect me to do better than that.
In the particular case of this last letter but seven I wrote:--
"DEAREST MARGERY,--Thank you for your sweet letter. I had a very
busy day at the office or I would have come to see you. P.T.O.--I
hope to be down next week, and then I will tell you all about my
work; but I have a lot more to do now, and so I must say Good-bye.
Your loving UNCLE."
There is perhaps nothing in that which demands an immediate answer,
but with business-like promptitude Margery replied:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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