English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
As the curtain goes up two ladies are discovered in the morning-room
of Honeysuckle Lodge engaged in work of a feminine nature. Miss
Alice Prendergast is doing something delicate with a crochet-hook,
but it is obvious that her thoughts are far away. She sighs at
intervals, and occasionally lays down her work and presses both
hands to her heart. A sympathetic audience will have no difficulty
in guessing that she is in love. On the other hand, her elder
sister, Miss Prendergast, is completely wrapped up in a sock for one
of the poorer classes, over which she frowns formidably. The sock,
however, has no real bearing upon the plot, and she must not make
too much of it.
Alice (hiding her emotions). Did you have a pleasant dinner-party
last night, Jane?
Jane (to herself). Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. (Looking
up.) Very pleasant indeed, Alice. The Blizzards were there, and the
Podbys, and the Slumphs. (These people are not important and should
not be over-emphasized.) Mrs Podby's maid has given notice.
Alice. Who took you in?
Jane (brightening up). Such an interesting man, my dear. He talked
most agreeably about Art during dinner, and we renewed the
conversation in the drawing-room. We found that we agreed upon all
the main principles of Art, considered as such.
Alice (with a look in her eyes which shows that she is recalling a
tender memory). When I was in Shropshire last week--What was your
man's name?
Jane (with a warning glance at the audience). You know how difficult
it is to catch names when one is introduced. I am certain he never
heard mine. (As the plot depends partly upon this, she pauses for it
to sink in.) But I inquired about him afterwards, and I find that he
is a Mr--
Enter Mary, the Parlour-maid.
Mary (handing letter). A letter for you, miss.
Jane (taking it). Thank you, Mary. (Exit Mary to work up her next
line.) A letter! I wonder who it is from! (Reading the envelope.)
"Miss Prendergast, Honeysuckle Lodge." (She opens it with the air of
one who has often received letters before, but feels that this one
may play an important part in her life.) "Dear Miss Prendergast, I
hope you will pardon the presumption of what I am about to write to
you, but whether you pardon me or not, I ask you to listen to me. I
know of no woman for whose talents I have a greater admiration, or
for whose qualities I have a more sincere affection than yourself.
Since I have known you, you have been the lodestar of my existence,
the fountain of my inspiration. I feel that, were your life joined
to mine, the joint path upon which we trod would be the path to
happiness, such as I have as yet hardly dared to dream of. In short,
dear Miss Prendergast, I ask you to marry me, and I will come in
person for my answer. Yours truly--" (In a voice of intense
surprise) "Jas. Bootle!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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