English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Alice. Jane--we--I--
Jane (calmly). Dear Alice! I understand perfectly. Mr Bootle said in
his letter to you that he was coming for his answer, and I see what
answer you have given him. (To Bootle.) You remember I told you it
would be "Yes." I know my little sister, you see.
Bootle (tactlessly). But--you told me I could kiss you!
Jane (smiling). And I tell you again now. I believe it is usual for
men to kiss their sisters-in-law? (She offers her cheek. Bootle,
whose day it is, salutes her respectfully.) And now (gaily) perhaps
I had better leave you young people alone!
[Exit, with a backward look at the audience expressive of the fact
that she has been wearing the mask.
Bootle. Alice, then you are mine, after all.
Alice. James! (They k--No, perhaps better not. There has been quite
enough for one evening.) And to think that she knew all the time!
Now I am quite, quite happy. And James--you WILL remember in
future that I am Miss ALICE Prendergast?
Bootle (gaily). My dear, I shall only be able to remember that you
are The Future Mrs Bootle!
CURTAIN.
"AT DEAD OF NIGHT"
The stage is in semi-darkness as Dick Trayle throws open the window
from outside, puts his knee on the sill, and falls carefully into
the drawing-room of Beeste Hall. He is dressed in a knickerbocker
suit with arrows on it (such as can always be borrowed from a
friend), and, to judge from the noises which he emits, is not in the
best of training. The lights go on suddenly; and, he should seize
this moment to stagger to the door and turn on the switch. This
done, he sinks into the nearest chair and closes his eyes.
If he has been dancing very late the night before he may drop into a
peaceful sleep; in which case the play ends here. Otherwise, no
sooner are his eyes closed than he opens them with a sudden start
and looks round in terror.
Dick (striking the keynote at once). No, no! Let me out--I am
innocent! (He gives a gasp of relief as he realizes the situation.)
Free! It is true, then! I have escaped! I dreamed that I was back in
prison again! (He shudders and helps himself to a large
whisky-and-soda, which he swallows at a gulp.) That's better! Now I
feel a new man--the man I was three years ago. Three years! It has
been a lifetime! (Pathetically to the audience.) Where is Millicent
now?
[He falls into a reverie, from which he is suddenly wakened by a
noise outside. He starts, and then creeps rapidly to the switch,
arriving there at the moment when the lights go out. Thence he goes
swiftly behind the window curtain. The lights go up again as Jasper
Beeste comes in with a revolver in one hand and a bull's-eye lantern
of apparently enormous candle-power in the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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