English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"I don't think that's quite fair," I said. "After all, it's YOUR
bag. If you take it for an hour and a half, I don't mind taking the
other half."
"Your shoes are heavier than mine, anyhow."
"My pyjamas weigh less. Such a light blue as they are."
"Ah, but my tooth-brush has lost seven bristles. That makes a
difference."
"What I say is, let every man carry his own bag. This is a rotten
business, John. I don't wish to be anything but polite, but for a
silly ass commend me to the owner of that brown thing."
John took no notice and went on packing.
"I shall buy a collar in the town," he said.
"Better let me do it for you. You would only go getting an
invitation to a garden-party from the haberdasher. And that would
mean another eight miles with a portmanteau."
"There we are," said John, as he closed the bag, "quite small and
light. Now, who'll take the first hour?"
"We'd better toss, if you're quite sure you won't carry it all the
way. Tails. Just my luck."
John looked out of the window and then at his watch.
"They say two to three is the hottest hour of the day," he said. "It
will be cooler later on. I shall put you in."
I led the way up the cliffs with that wretched bag. I insisted upon
that condition anyhow--that the man with the bag should lead the
way. I wasn't going to have John dashing off at six miles an hour,
and leaving himself only two miles at the end.
"But you can come and talk to me," I said to him after ten minutes
of it. "I only meant that I was going to set the pace."
"No, no, I like watching you. You do it so gracefully. This is my
man," he explained to some children who were blackberrying. "He is
just carrying my bag over the cliffs for me. No, he is not very
strong."
"You wait," I growled.
John laughed. "Fifty minutes more," he said. And then after a little
silence, "I think the bag-carrying profession is overrated. What
made you take it up, my lad? The drink? Ah, just so. Dear, dear,
what a lesson to all of us."
"There's a good time coming," I murmured to myself, and changed
hands for the eighth time.
"I don't care what people say," said John, argumentatively; "brown
and blue DO go together. If you wouldn't mind--"
For the tenth time I rammed the sharp corner of the bag into the
back of my knee.
"There, that's what I mean. You see it perfectly like that--the
brown against the blue of the flannel. Thank you very much."
I stumbled up a steep little bit of slippery grass, and told myself
that in three-quarters of an hour I would get some of my own back
again. He little knew how heavy that bag could become.
"They say," said John to the heavens, "that if you have weights in
your hands you can jump these little eminences much more easily. I
suppose one hand alone doesn't do. What a pity he didn't tell me
before--I would have lent him another bag with pleasure."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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