"Oh, she's gone, sir, a long time ago. A gentleman she knew drove past, and she asked him to give her a lift home in his trap. She was going to tell the other gentleman, and he'd wait for you." "Oh yes. That's all right." I returned my bicycle to its owner, distributed coppers to his children, and went up to the station. The porter came out to meet me. He seemed surprised. "The gentleman thought you wouldn't be coming back, sir, as you didn't come with the wagonette." "I just went up to the 'Lion'--" "Yessir. Well, he drove off quarter of an hour ago; said it was no good waiting for you, as you'd ride straight 'ome when you found at Brookfield that the wagonette 'ad come." And now I ask you--What would Napoleon have said? THE PORTUGUESE CIGAR EVERYTHING promised well for my week-end with Charles. The weather was warm and sunny, I was bringing my golf clubs down with me, and I had just discovered (and meant to put into practice) an entirely new stance which made it impossible to miss the object ball. It was this that I was explaining to Charles and his wife at dinner on Friday, when the interruption occurred. "By the way," said Charles, as I took out a cigarette, "I've got a cigar for you. Don't smoke that thing." "You haven't let him go in for cigars?" I said reproachfully to Mrs Charles. I can be very firm about other people's extravagances. "This is one I picked up in Portugal," explained Charles. "You can get them absurdly cheap out there. Let's see, dear; where did I put it?" "I saw it on your dressing-table last week," said his wife, getting up to leave us. He followed her out and went in search of it, while I waited with an interest which I made no effort to conceal. I had never heard before of a man going all the way to Portugal to buy one cigar for a friend. "Here it is," said Charles, coming in again. He put down in front of me an ash-tray, the matches and a--and a--well, as I say, a cigar. I examined it slowly. Half of it looked very tired. "Well," said Charles, "what do you think of it?" "When you say you--er--PICKED IT UP in Portugal," I began carefully, "I suppose you don't mean--" I stopped and tried to bite the end off. "Have a knife," said Charles. I had another bite, and then I decided to be frank. "WHY did you pick it up?" I asked. "The fact was," said Charles, "I found myself one day in Lisbon without my pipe, and so I bought that thing; I never smoke them in the ordinary way." "Did you smoke this?" I asked. It was obvious that SOMETHING had happened to it. "No, you see, I found some cigarettes at the last moment, and so, knowing that you liked cigars, I thought I'd bring it home for you." "It's very nice of you, Charles. Of course I can see that it has travelled. Well, we must do what we can with it."