“Coachman, do you know Holyhead well?” asked a passenger. “Me know Holyhead,” said Jack, who spoke with a strong Welsh accent. “Yes, inteed; I suppose I to; at laste I should to; I’ve lived there all my life. Yes, inteed; I was pred and porn there.” “Then you can tell me, I dare say, which is the best inn; for I want to stay a day or two at Holyhead.” “How should I know the best inn?” said Jack. “Well, if you know Holyhead so well, surely you must know which is the best inn.” “Well, inteed, I know that there’s two inns in Holyhead, but I canna say which is the pest; I never goes to either of ’em.” “Well, but you must know which of them is called the best, and which would be best for a gentleman to stay at.” “Well, inteed,” said Jack, at last, “I’ll tell you how it is. Should you wish to get drunk, go to Spencer’s. Should you wish to get lousey, go to Moland’s.” “Maran’s” was probably the house meant. As Colonel Birch-Reynardson remarks, it is not likely that the landlord or the landlady would have felt flattered by Jack Williams’ account of what any one going to their house was to expect. No one need look to match Borrow’s experience at the “Railway Hotel,” where “Boots” was a poet and critic of poets. “In those days,” says Borrow, “there never was such a place for poets as Anglesey; one met a poet, or came upon the birthplace of a poet, everywhere.” Every one is now a great deal more matter-of-fact, and railway and steam packet time-tables, are the forms of literature best known to the modern hotel staff. Holyhead, in short, is but a dependency of the London and North-Western Railway, and wakes up only at those intervals when the steamers and the trains arrive. Then, just as though it were an ingenious mechanical toy of a larger growth, like those that used to be—perhaps are now—at the Crystal Palace, and as though the necessary penny had dropped into the mechanism, everything begins to work furiously. Trains roll in, electric lights glare coldly from tall standards in the docks, mountains of luggage are shot out upon platforms or quay walls; porters, sailors, passengers, newsboys, and a miscellaneous crowd rush back and forth, just after the fashion of those little clockwork mannikins in the glass cases. Then the whistles of the steamer or train blow; the passengers are all aboard, the porters trundle their trucks back whence they came, the crowd disperses, the newsboys end in the midst of their shouting, and out go the lights; all as though the machine had done its allotted task, but would begin it all over again if another coin were forthcoming.