The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
What is there in the presence of children in a house to alarm the
owner? "They are so destructive," he will tell you; "they are
mischievous, they are noisy. Other tenants object to them. They injure
the house when old enough to run about, and squall objectionably when
babies." All this is true enough. Most babies are a source of distress
to their immediate neighbours because of their painful wailing, and
most little children continue to cause distress by their noise in play
and shrieks under punishment. Is all this outcry necessary? Must the
poor baby suffer by night and day; must the small child bang and yell,
and must it be punished so frequently? Why is the process of getting
acclimated to the world so difficult and agonising? Is there really no
way that the experience of all the ages may be turned to account to
facilitate the first years of a child's life?
Our behaviour to the child rests on several assumptions which are, at
least, not proven. We assume that he has to be sick. We assume that he
has to be naughty. We assume that life is hard and unpleasant, anyway,
and that, the sooner he learns this and gets broken into it, the
better. There is no more reason why a child should be sick than a calf
or colt. Infancy is tender, and needs care, but it is not a disease.
The Egyptian mother loves her baby, no doubt, though it goes blind
through her ignorance and neglect--she knows nothing of ophthalmia, and
lets the flies crawl over its helpless face, even while she loves it.
We scorn and pity her ignorance, but we accept the colic, disorders of
teething, and all the train of "preventable diseases" which kill off
our babies, precisely as she accepts ophthalmia.
We have not learned yet how to make a baby the happy, contented,
smoothly developing little animal that he should be. Some of us do
better than others, but the knowledge of one is no gain to the rest,
being confined to one family. Slowly the wider human care, the larger
love, the broader knowledge, of doctor, nurse, and teacher are
penetrating the innermost fortress of the home, and teaching the mother
how to care for the child. The home did not teach her, and never would.
In the untouched homes of ancient Eastern races, countless generations
of mothers transmit the same traditional mistakes, love in the same
blind way, and weep the same loss as unprofitably as they did ten
thousand years ago.
In the homes of civilised races, where the light of social progress is
most fully felt, we see the most improvement; but even here the
pressure of growing knowledge is still combated by the jealous
arrogance of the untaught mother, and the measureless inertia of the
home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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