The home: its work and influenceGilman, Charlotte Perkins
General
The home: its work and influence
Gilman, Charlotte Perkins
Home
The smallness of the home-bound woman is not so injurious as the still
smaller nature of the harem-bound, by as much as the home is larger and
freer than the harem; but just as harem women limit man's growth, so do
home women in slighter degree. The influence of women upon men is
enormous. The home-bound mother limits the child and boy; the
home-bound girl limits the youth; and the home-bound wife keeps up the
pressure for life. It is not that women are really smaller-minded,
weaker-minded, more timid and vacillating; but that whosoever, man or
woman, lives always in a small dark place, is always guarded,
protected, directed, and restrained, will become inevitably narrowed
and weakened by it.
The woman is narrowed by the home and the man is narrowed by the woman.
In proportion as man is great, as his interests are world-wide and his
abilities high, is he injured by constant contact with a smaller mind.
The more ordinary man feels it less, being himself nearer to the
domestic plane of thought and action; but the belittling effect is
there all the time.
If the boy's mother commanded as wide a range of action as his father;
if her work were something to honour and emulate as well as her dear
self something to love, the boy would never learn to use that bitter
term "only mother." The father is a soldier, and the boy admires and
longs to follow in great deeds. The father is a captain of industry--a
skilled tradesman, a good physician--the boy has the father to love,
and the work to admire as well. The father is something to other
people, as well as all in all to him; and the boy has a new respect for
him, seeing him in the social relation as well as the domestic. But his
mother he sees only in the domestic relation and is early taught by the
father himself, that he is "to take care of her!" Think of it! Teaching
a child that he is to take care of his mother! A full-grown able-bodied
woman will take a child of ten out with her at night--"to protect her!"
The exquisite absurdity of this position has no comparison or parallel.
Think of a cow protected by a calf! A bear by a cub--a cat by a kitten!
A tall, swift mare by a lanky colt! An alert, sharp-toothed collie by a
tumbling, fat-pawed pup! How can a boy respect a thing that he, a
child, can take care of! He can love, and does. He can take care of,
and does. He can later on support, and does; and even--this in a recent
instance of this sublime monstrosity--he can "give away" _his own
mother_ in marriage! No wonder he so soon learns to say "only mother!"
When she is _not_ only mother, but mother and much besides, a real
human being, usefully exercising her human faculties, the boy will make
a better man.
Again, if his sister shared every freedom and advantage of childhood;
were equally educated, not only in school, but in play, and in the
ever-stimulating experiences of daily life, he would feel far
differently toward her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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