The children divided between the contesting parents, taking sides. The
son was entirely with his mother. He was unhappy because she had to put
up with so much and he goaded her on all the time, urging her to carry
the fight to a successful issue and even advising her to seek separation
from her husband. He had nothing good to say about his father, outside
the latter’s business ability. He described the father as a cold-blooded
fellow without a heart, a mere adding machine, etc.... On a superficial
examination it looked as if he loved his mother and hated his father.
But back of that hatred there stood the carefully preserved love of his
earlier years. That love, however, he was unwilling to acknowledge. That
was the critical point in the analysis. He always recoiled whenever the
analysis led to his fondness of the father, or various signs pointed out
his aboriginal attitude towards the father. Any analysis leads sooner or
later to a similar experience. Nothing is more difficult than to
dissolve the father hatred and reduce it back to its infantile
components,—love.
But in his homosexual acts he played the rôle of the father who is
tender with the child. We also perceive now why he felt himself suddenly
attracted to that elderly gentleman with the energetic face. He was an
image of his own strict father.
Having witnessed in his childhood a terrific struggle between man and
woman, and having himself taken a part in that merciless struggle for
supremacy, he was bound to conceive the problem of love as a struggle
for supremacy, a competitive struggle in the will to power. His supreme
question always was: “_Who is the stronger one?_” This case shows us
with remarkable clearness the mechanisms on which _Alfred Adler_ lays
such great stress. But it also shows the incestuous love for the sister,
a tendency of which he was aware. In the young men he sought the
reproductions of his sister’s picture. He also showed a fixation upon
the mother, with whom he was seldom on agreeable pleasant terms.
Nevertheless he has not forgotten the early tendernesses of his father.
In the wish to be squeezed to death, his masochistic fancies revolve
around the masked image of his severe father standing like a shadow. To
be master, to be slave—his whole system of thinking revolved around
these two notions. He has social intercourse only with men towards whom
he feels himself superior. Already as a child he chose his comrades
among the children of the poor, because he could domineer them. He
abandoned one friendship because his friend made jokes at his expense.
He was not a handsome child. That drove him into the path of hatred and
envy. He hated all women because they were his rivals with the father.
He thought he would have been liked better if he had been a handsomer
fellow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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