This vomiting in the morning, a symptom which appears in many neurotics
and also in the case of many neurotic children is a reaction of the
ethical, moral self against the dreams of the previous night. Plainly,
one is disgusted with one’s self. Hence the vomiting which is
subsequently ascribed to something inoffensive that may have been eaten
on the previous evening. But the subject believes that the beer he drank
did not agree with the dessert....
He is asked whether he can recall at all the dream.
“No, not a trace.”
“Better try and see.”
“I only remember scraps; nothing worth mentioning.”
“Please tell me these scraps.”
“I have dreamed only about various water closets and urinals. There was
a urinal here and one in the office ... the rest is gone. I cannot
recall.”
“The vomiting in the morning seems to me to point at something going on
in the urinal which strikes you as disgusting.”
“May I not have simply spoiled my stomach?”
“Indeed. That is a possibility not to be excluded. But the other is also
a possibility to be thought of. Do you often vomit in the morning?”
“Yes, but only as I did today. Only fluid. It is more a nausea than real
vomiting. May I leave now?”
“You know that I never compel you to stay. Only I want to draw your
attention that I am fully aware you want to hide something from me. How
do you imagine you can get well if you do not have the courage to
confide in your consultant? Or perhaps you are afraid that you will lose
something of my respect if you should disclose the peculiarities of your
sexual life? You are anxious to run off and keep your secret. Very well.
You are free to do as you wish. But do not expect, under the
circumstances, that a consultant should spend his time on your case. One
who wants really to get well must first be willing to face his problems
clearly.”
“You are right, doctor. I have kept from you the most important thing: I
do indulge in a form of sexual excitation which is perhaps the most
unpleasant possible. You will appreciate at once why I have kept the
knowledge of this from you so long. I thought I have told you already
too much and I wanted to keep to myself this particular morbid turn. But
you will surely despise me.”
“I despise no sufferer.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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