70. A highly intelligent subject, H. J., writes me: “Have you already
reflected on how we discern certain similarities on certain days and
fail to do so at other times? You are undoubtedly aware that neurotics
and normal persons are fond of finding resemblances when they formulate
identifications. The lover finds that the beloved walks like mother, or
that she talks like the latter, and if physically no resemblance can be
established he finds the same mental characteristics, the same soul,
perhaps the same shortcomings. But I want to speak of an entirely
different peculiarity. One forenoon I see a man, who looked enough like
my friend, X, the painter, to be taken for the latter. I walk up to him
and say: Hello, X,—still under the impression of that mistake. A strange
face wearing a beard of familiar form is staring at me. I offer the
usual apologetic explanation and go my way. After a while I see again my
friend X, this time somewhat dimly, not quite so certain of it as
before. I recover from this illusion quickly enough.
“By that time my psychologic curiosity is roused and it occurs to me
that my wife told me that morning she was going to visit the painter, X,
during the forenoon. I listened indifferently to the statement, merely
asking her to give him my greetings. But a certain unrest must have
risen in the unconscious: your wife goes to the painter who likes her
and makes love to her. Nothing of that in consciousness at all. Painters
are a light-minded class who do not take such things seriously. Who
knows whether your wife will be strong enough to resist?
“These secret fears led to a symptomatic act. I accosted a stranger as
X, the painter. In other words,—a wish fulfilment. For if I meet X on
the street he cannot possibly be in his studio at this time. My wish is
that he shall not be at home. My wife shall go to the studio and find:
Mr. X is not in.... That wish came up on three different occasions that
morning. For I thought I saw Mr. X in the street three different times.
Moreover, I project X upon strange faces. Because I think constantly of
X, because my mind is wholly preoccupied with him, because I am innerly
preoccupied with the uncountenanced thought: what does X now do with
your wife?—I see X everywhere. _Ringstrasse_ is filled with men looking
like him; every man is a Mr. X.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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