find an efficient girl servant, she insisted only that her husband must
show himself more strict with her. He had to declare on his oath again
that there was no intimacy between them. _Towards the girl she felt a
peculiar anger which she could not understand. At times she could have
flown at the girl to strike her, which was very baffling as she had
never been in the habit of striking a servant. But it would have been a
great satisfaction to her to have pummelled this girl who caused her so
much anguish. She had to restrain herself forcefully so as not to give
vent to her rage. She was very “touchy” with the girl and tolerated not
the least contradiction on her part._
Nevertheless she could not make up her mind to dismiss the girl, and yet
she was afraid to be alone with her.
All her troubles arose on account of her homosexual attitude towards the
girl who was in fact a charming blonde type of beauty. She herself was
in love with the girl; that is why she could not conceive that her
husband might be indifferent towards her. She figured: _If I were a man
I would love this girl!_ Interesting, and at the same time typical, is
her rage and desire to strike the girl. The love feeling is converted
into its opposite and the longing to touch the girl (that is, to come
into contact with her body) manifests itself in the inclination to
strike her. How often love contacts disguise themselves as angry blows
under the mask of anger!
I explain to the woman that she must dismiss the girl when she saw
clearly the meaning of her jealousy. After the girl left all the
unpleasant symptoms mentioned above vanished.
Another form of jealousy transfers itself from one object to another, or
to the whole surroundings. Such transference of jealousy serves the
purpose of masking from self and from others the real object of the
original jealousy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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