“You are in love with your sister and cannot live without her.”
“That’s it. I cannot live without sister and even her scoldings and her
angry words I will put up with rather than stand a day without seeing
her.”
“Still you will have to do it.... The conditions are unhealthy.”
“Yes.... Only yesterday I said to sister: ‘_I am going to move out and
you can keep your rooms and do with your lodger whatever you want. I
won’t protect you any more._’”
Thus it came out clearly that she was watching every night, whether the
lodger was going to the sister and that she dreaded moving out because
she knew that the sister would then be alone with the lodger in the
house and he could go to her every night. I made this clear to her but
she did not seem to see it at first. She admitted her homosexual love
for the sister....
She moved to other quarters. It was a quiet little room over a garden in
the home of an elderly woman living alone. But here also she could not
sleep. The old woman snored and she could not stand that. Then the
ticking of a clock disturbed her continually and kept her from falling
asleep, the striking of the hours even waking her up. She thus
continually sought everywhere for the reasons of her unrest which were
only in herself. The palpitation of her heart (symbolic substitute for
it: the clock) gave her no peace. She looked for other quarters, kept
looking and looking but found no place so satisfactory and quiet as the
sister’s lodging. She went there every evening returning to her outside
lodgings late in the night. She took advantage of a light illness of her
sister’s as an excuse and returned to her little room, again shivering
with dread whenever the lodger was late coming home. Even after she
chose for herself a lover who gave her complete sexual gratification her
quiet was temporary. The heterosexual component of her instincts drove
her more and more to her lover trying to forget her sister in his arms.
But she succeeded only intermittently and her thoughts kept revolving
again and again between her sister and that lodger. Finally her sister
gave in and the lodger had to move. An elderly young woman became the
new lodger. Then she quieted down and was able to sleep once more.
It is interesting that nearly all narcotic drugs not only proved useless
but made her worse. She did not want to sleep so as to keep watch over
her sister’s virtue.
As in all the cases previously mentioned, here, too, developments led to
overt attitudes, the subject stood on the brink of criminal passional
deeds. Hatred and love showed intimate relationships. She was also
afraid of murderers, barricaded the doors and shivered at every little
noise. That was the fear of her own criminal thoughts. Her infantile
criminal tendencies arose with her infantile love for the sister.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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