"Your slaves, _Nawab-sahib!_" had come the answer, making him smile
proudly. _That_, at any rate, could not be stolen from him _now_. _Now_
he could fight and die in what should have been his real position.
Yet, once more, when the search-light had come to throw that group of
excited men hacking and hewing at doors closed by authority into
significant black-and-white relief, that doubt had returned; that
desire to be on the side, once more, of men like Dr. Dillon, whose bold
resolve to be alone responsible for his gaol, which the warder's tale
revealed, filled him with admiration.
But that sudden throwing up of a trooper's hands, that sidelong stumble
into death, had left Roshan cruel as death itself; for the man thus
killed had been to him as a brother.
So he had gone on with a fresh impulse towards revenge, and for a time
found forgetfulness in the excitement, the action. For though the first
gate, that one giving on the open sort of porch, had yielded, almost at
once, to the troopers outside and the warders within, the second,
barring the arched tunnel, was a tougher job. It was not until this had
given way, and the attacking party were completely sheltered from the
fire of the little garrison on the roof, that there was leisure for
that thought to return: "What am I doing? Why am I doing it?"
No man, it may be said broadly, ever fights without feeling that the
battle is an appeal to a tribunal beyond himself, and Roshan did not
feel this. Then the remembrance of the woman, the child, upstairs came
persistently, burdened by the weight of that past tragedy which, in
India, it is impossible to forget. And this was a woman who had always
been courteous to him, a child to whom he had given toys.
What was he doing?
The men were at work on the last, the strongest gate, with every tool
they could find. Not many, for Dr. Dillon's forethought had left them
before barred doors everywhere. The delay had already been great; would
be greater. They must be close now on the lines of the original plot,
at which Roshan had laughed, for the dawn was showing faintly--a mere
promise of light to come--in the east. And the storm was passing. The
dull reverberations of faint thunder were lost now in the cries, the
blows of those at work trying to batter down the iron bars.
A sudden distaste--more than regret or repentance--came to Roshan as he
stood silent, watching blow after blow; a sudden doubt.
Which was the right? No man worth calling a man ever fights for
anything else; every man worth calling one fights for that. But which
was right? Those men, hacking and hewing, or the little garrison
upstairs?
There were no such searchings of heart there, at any rate; no question
as to what they were doing, though at that exact moment they were
engaged in the trivial occupation of drinking tea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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